This post is also available in: French
When you and your partner move in together, you might not know what to expect. For example, they could turn out to be packrats! Or maybe brushing your teeth in the kitchen drives your cuddle bunny crazy, whether they tell you about it or not. But what you do likely already know is that living together changes relationships, and a recent survey found some very interesting details on this subject.
Cohabitation is a Big Step
Couples rarely decide to live together after only a few dates. That’s because it’s a significant step in the relationship to decide to cohabitate as you give up a separate living space, combine possessions, and make a serious commitment to one another.
If you decide that now is the right time to move in with your significant other then congratulations! Deciding to share your lives is a big, beautiful milestone in a relationship.
And while you can’t predict how much adjustment there’ll be when you move in together, you know that a future together is why you’re moving in together in the first place. What you might not bank on though are the changes to your relationship.
What One Study Found Out about Couples Living Together
Recently, Sofary surveyed 905 people to find out their perceptions about living under the same roof. All participants were already moved in with their partners. So, what was getting on their nerves, how did they rate their relationship satisfaction, and how did the size of their living space factor in?
Here are the survey highlights:
#1 How Size of Living Space affects Relationship Satisfaction
The phrase “size matters” can get your mind going down the gutter. But instead let’s focus on the size of a living space as a factor in relationship satisfaction.
It’s something that you might not consider when moving in together, right? But Sofary found that square footage can affect how content couples feel once they’re living together. Specifically, those who live in 1,800 square feet or more expressed higher levels of satisfaction in their relationship than those cohabitating in smaller spaces.
This research finding makes sense given that most people like to have personal space. Even if you’re living under the same roof, it’s good to have time apart, such as a second TV room or a den off the main living area. There’s also area then for each of you to move in your treasured items to the shared home without feeling like you have to give up everything because of a lack of space.
For example, our condo is slightly over the 1,800 square feet benchmark, which means we both can be in different rooms if we want to be. Two examples are wanting to phone a friend without the distracting background noise of the TV or napping on the couch (Aureleo!) while I’m working in my office at night in a separate room.
And sometimes you simply need your own space, right? That’s important to mentally recharge. I wouldn’t want to go any smaller for us in square footage.
On a related note, we are keeping our eye on the Victoria real estate market with hopes to move into a home over the next year. There’s the wedding later this year so one thing at a time – unless we find out about a great house deal!
#2 Relationship Satisfaction Grew after Living Together
Sofary also discovered that more than half of participants considered themselves happier after moving in than before that. To be exact, 61% of the over 900 surveyed people said so. A significant percentage also reported being very satisfied that they had moved in at the right time.
For Aureleo and I, we certainly felt it was the best time for us to move in together when we did because it was becoming inconvenient to go between one another’s residences so much. Not only driving between the two places (not far from one another, thankfully) but also packing items to take, planning whose place to stay at and when, and trying to divide that equally. From a financial standpoint too it didn’t make sense for us; we had to stock 2 fridges, pay 2 stratas, and duplicate bills (hydro, Internet, etc.).
Not only that but we also wanted to stay together more than we were doing at that point. All in all, living together made sense for us. And while I cannot speak for him, I am happier now than when we lived separately.
#3 Habits that aren’t so Cute
Oooh part of the survey was on complaints men had about their partners and that women had about their partners. The number one complaint about men after moving in? Messiness. Get this, women received the same top complaint. So apparently manhy people would do well to follow HuffPost’s tips for staying sane with a messy partner.
Second on the list for complaints about men were that “they spend too much money on nonessentials.” For women, it was “they snore.” Other complaints about both men and women included that “they expect me to take care of everything” and “they snore.” We snore one another out of the room sometimes, oops (wink, wink).
Interestingly, 51% of married couples said that they became more tolerant of their significant other’s habits after living together than beforehand. I would argue though that many people might not have really let their bad habits be known until cohabitation. Which can be part of the adjustment period.
What to Expect for Your Relationship
Obviously, this is only one survey and so it isn’t a definitive guide to what can happen to a romantic relationship upon cohabitation. Plus, every couple is different so I wouldn’t want to say this or that will happen for sure as it really comes down to the people in that specific relationship. What I do know is that many people live contentedly together and if you choose to do so then I wish you all the best.
Did you notice your relationship with your partner change after living together and, if so, how? Also feel free to comment on the survey findings above.
This post is also available in: French