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The First Date: Do’s and Don’ts for Women


The first date can feel like a job interview, from the sweaty palms to dry mouth. But you can get past the awkwardness at the start that is so normal and really knock the outing out of park if you follow these do’s and don’ts, ladies. This post is sponsored by Digital Dudes, who compensated me for my honest opinions about their products. All opinions are my own.

Ladies dating advice

First date success? Do’s and don’ts for women. Pexels photo (CC0).

DO Be Yourself

Absolutely. If you pretend to be someone else, then you’re going to attract somebody that won’t be a good fit for the true you. And why would you want to be someone other than the adorable woman you are? Not everyone will click with one another so be authentic right from the start on a Kent dating site or elsewhere and if it’s a match that’s great – If not, there’s going to be another first date soon, and it could be a better connection.

DON’T Wear an Outfit You Can’t Even Breathe In

While you want to look nice, it’s also important to dress to be comfortable. This doesn’t mean wearing sweatpants (they can look sloppy, like you don’t have self-confidence), but it does mean wearing something that isn’t so tight that you can’t even breathe in it. When you’re wearing something comfortable and nice-looking, then you’re going to feel more self-assured, and that’s presenting yourself in the best light.

DO Ask Him about Himself Too

It may feel even more like an interview if you’re just answering his questions. So, ask him a few things about himself too. It could be that you prep a few questions before the evening based on what you know about him (job, hobbies, pets…) from his profile at Birmingham dating or his Facebook profile. Or, ask a question based on something he mentions to you when you meet, such as what he was doing earlier in the day. It shows your genuine interest in him, and that’s a good thing!

DON’T Have Sex on the First Date

It’s not setting yourself up for a long-term relationship, in my opinion, if you sleep with the person on the first date. Plus, it means more when you two do get to the bedroom if you have built a connection together. Intimacy can be amazing, and the right person will want to enjoy it fully with you when the time is right. Besides, what’s the rush?

DO Offer to Split the Cost

If you’re out at a restaurant on the first date, after meeting on Derbyshire singles or another way, choose something around the same price as him so that you can later offer to split the price of the meal. BUT if he is very insistent on paying the check then don’t offend him by refusing. In this case, offer to buy him a treat the next time you meet up!

DON’T Kiss Him if You’re Not Feeling It

This all depends on the two people. If you’re feeling bold and want to hug or kiss him (or both) at the end of the first date and you feel it’ll be reciprocated then, by all means, do so. But if you’re not feeling it then don’t lead him on with this type of goodbye. If at the end of the date he goes in for a kiss and you’re not feeling it then it’s best not to kiss back; instead, turn your face and perhaps squeeze his arm to show you appreciate it but aren’t feeling the same. It’s an awkward moment unfortunately, but it’s best to be true to how you’re feeling. After all, you would expect the same from the person you met on Gloucester dating or Staffordshire dating.

DO Think Positively

It’s a big thing that you’ve put yourself out there and opened up to someone by going out on this first date. Give yourself props for that! Stay positive that the right person for you is out there, whether it’s the one you went out with tonight or someone you have yet to meet. You’re an awesome woman, and if he sees that then he’ll ask you out again. And, in the meantime, take a long bath and enjoy the rush of having gotten through that first date. You did it!



  1. Anna Raquel December 16, 2017

    Great post, but the best advise is the Be Yourself. If someone is going to like you, ut should be for what you truly are. If they don’t like it, move on :)

  2. Antony'M 37 December 16, 2017

    Un gros bisou ma petite Christy, cet article est très intéressant.
    Prends bien soin de toi.
    Bon weekend.
    Ton ami Tony.

  3. Resa December 16, 2017

    I think you have hit the dating nail on the head here, Christy. A well done, excellent article. Sending hugs & kisses, as this is not our first comment! xo

  4. milfordstreet December 16, 2017

    Great list Christy. Cheers!

  5. milfordstreet December 16, 2017

    Addendum – Watch how he treats wait staff and others. Does he treat them with respect? or disdain? It says a lot about how he will ultimately treat you and others in your life.

  6. Laina Eartharcher December 16, 2017

    You’ve nailed it once again, Christy 👍🏼👏🏼. This should be required reading for every lady, teenage or adult ❤️

  7. mysticwriter2002 December 17, 2017

    Hey miss.oxford 😃

  8. robbiesinspiration December 17, 2017

    This does feel like a long time ago for me, Christy, but from what I remember, this is great advice.

  9. Norah December 17, 2017

    I was checking to see if anything had changed since I was dating. But no, it all still sounds like good advice, Christy. Well done.

  10. paulliverstravels December 17, 2017

    With only minor alterations in the justifications, you could give that same advice to men.

  11. Willow Croft December 17, 2017

    I generally find that when I’m wearing something I feel comfortable in, I get more attention then when I dress up. *laugh* The paradox of dating/making new friends/meeting new people. *laugh*

  12. Many people make the mistake of sleeping with someone on the first date! I agree with you, “what’s the rush?” Leave a little mystery and make them want more of you! Great post Christy. <3

  13. Linnea Tanner December 17, 2017

    Thank you, Christy, for sharing the pointers on the first date. This is sound advice for any social occasion where it is important to be yourself and learn more about the other person. Have a great holiday!


  14. dgkaye December 17, 2017

    Totally loved this great advice Christy. The first one was so bang on. If we pretend to be someone else we’re going to attract a person who likes that someone else, the someone we are only pretending to be. :) xxxx

  15. Damyanti Biswas December 18, 2017

    Been a long while since I’ve dated anyone other than my husband, but it all seems like sound advice.

  16. John Fioravanti December 18, 2017

    I’m a tad out of practice, Christy (my last first date was February 1971) but this looks like a great list!

  17. Jeri Walker (@JeriWB) December 18, 2017

    I would add don’t talk about your divorce on the first date. That was hard when it was still so fresh though. I would not do the same thing again. Live and learn!

  18. Marje @ Kyrosmagica December 20, 2017

    It’s a long time since I’ve been dating but sounds like good advice Christy. Don’t get too tipsy might be a good one to add! In case you fall over, get maudlin or be sick.

  19. Loretta December 22, 2017

    All great points, Christy! I couldn’t agree more, especially about the “no sex” on the first date. My “now” husband turned on the charm flashing me his sexy eyes, and I told him he “could put those eyes away, he wasn’t coming home with me”. He started laughing and then we had a great time. We became friends first. I watched him date several other women, all who slept with him on the first or second date.

    I made him wait…6 months. ;-)

  20. healthqueen15 December 27, 2017

    These are all great Do’s and Don’t!!

  21. youngmeetsfree January 3, 2018

    Interesting post. Some of the advice applies to all people regardless of their sex.

    As for the first date thing, I’ve come to believe it’s highly individual and there are arguments on both sides.

    In any case, happy 2018

  22. alizainul January 15, 2018

    Good article ♥

  23. My Hojgaard February 1, 2018

    “DO Offer to Split the Cost” – yes! Finally a modern approach to dating advice! Well done!

  24. Mummanopoly February 1, 2018

    Nice post, some parts made me chuckle.

  25. Jethro Hutchings March 27, 2018

    Thanks, Christy and this definitely applies to both sexes especially the necessity to abstain from sex on a first date. I have been and am currently publishing eBooks on dating, relationships and going through blog posts to make sure I have the best of the best advice to give after many years of dating myself along the journey for the love of my life who I am soon to marry. Thanks for an excellent read I have added lots of fantastic thoughts to my library to include in my content.


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