The majority of us surround ourselves with honest people. No one likes to be lied to. If a friend or family member does start lying, or stretching the truth, it can cause major disruptions. And, rightly so. You don’t deserve to be treated like that. But, when putting import on truthful relationships, most of us could do with looking inwards. You may not realize it, but most of us lie to ourselves at some stage. We do so to protect ourselves, or to stop ourselves having to make major changes. But, even lies with the best intentions can be harmful. If we refuse to put up with such treatment from others, why should we stand the same from ourselves?
To understand the nature of the problem, you need to understand under what circumstances we lie to ourselves. These vary from person to person, but, there are some common factors. For the most part, self denial comes about through an attempt at self preservation.
With that in mind, it’s easier to separate lies from truth. It may be that you’re lying to yourself about your relationship. Many people suffering domestic violence refuse to admit it’s happening. Instead, they convince themselves, and the people around them, that their relationship is a happy one. A lie like this can be damaging for a variety of reasons. For one, it means you stay stuck in a relationship that isn’t good for you. For another, it stops anyone else realizing that you need help.
And, relationships aren’t the only incident of us telling ourselves half truths. Many of us are also in denial about our weaknesses. It’s understandable; no one likes to admit to being weak. By denying the problem, our subconscious believes it can overcome the issue. We are only as strong as we think we are, right? Wrong.
In fact, lying to yourself in this way gives your weakness more power. This is particularly the case when it comes to issues like addiction. Denying an addiction allows it to exercise complete control over you. The moment you admit that you have all the symptoms of someone requiring alcohol rehab, you can take steps towards recovery. Until that point, you’re at the mercy of your addiction.
So, how do you stop lying to yourself? It’s much easier than you might think. Though these behaviors are ingrained in us all, we’re more aware of them than we admit. All you need do to unveil the smoke screen is look carefully at your life. The chances are, you already know what you’re unhappy with. But, not looking at the issue means your denial can continue without challenge.
The moment you stop and look at your situation, the problem areas should make themselves clear. Then, you can set about improving things. There’s no quick fix here, and the chances are that you’ll lie to yourself again later down the line. But, if you’ve uncovered your lies once, you’re in a better position to do the same again.