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How to tell someone you love them

How to show love

Whether you find yourself newly in love with someone or are in a long-term relationship, there might be instances when you feel unsure how to tell your partner you love them. Saying those three words may make you feel uncomfortable or you might instead want to be creative with how you express affection. Here are simple, intentional gestures for how to tell someone you love them without saying I love you.

Expressing love

Many couples still experience the flutters of being in love after years of being together. That is wonderful!

Keeping the romance alive involves incorporating healthy ways to show love. It involves finding ways to tell people they’re special and that you value them.

While it’s great to use your words to express appreciation, there are additional ways to show dear ones that you care for them. Below is a list of ways to tell someone you love them.

1. Tell someone you love them through their love language

According to therapist and author Gary Chapman, Ph.D., love languages are a simple yet transformative concept of uniquely showing and receiving love. You may have a default way of telling someone you love them based on your preferred love language. However, these approaches may become ineffective when your partner has a different way of receiving affection and care.

In his book, Chapman introduced the five love languages:

  1. Words of affirmation
  2. Quality time
  3. Giving/receiving gifts
  4. Acts of service
  5. Physical touch

It emphasizes the essence of discovering your own love language, your partner’s, and how to fill each other’s love tank.

After discovering your partner’s primary love language, you may find it a lot easier to understand how to tell them you love them. For instance, if your girlfriend’s primary love language is receiving gifts, then you may tell her how much she means to you by sending her a bouquet.

Who wouldn’t appreciate this thoughtful gesture? Thankfully, there are a lot of options available online, such as bouquets on this great site.

Showing love through chocolate
Giving a chocolate bouquet as a romantic gesture. Adobe Stock image.

Here are two more suggestions for how to tell someone you love them.

2. Express through body language

As cliché as it may sound, actions may actually speak louder than words. Saying “I love you” may often go undervalued when there are no intentional ways to support the words.

One way to go beyond saying the usual “I love you” is through body language. You can do sp by paying attention to your partner’s body language, which may reveal more about how they feel than what they are saying aloud.

Whether you’re communicating personally or in a video call, tell your partner how much you love them by showing up and listening actively. This communication is effective, especially if you’re in a long-distance relationship.

It’s important to note that there is a huge difference between hearing and actively listening to your partner. When they tell you something important, be interested and learn to bring attention to the topic.

They’re talking about something important to them and deserve the respect of your focus on it. Participate in the conversation by asking them intentional questions.

3. Leave a note to tell someone you love them

You may also get spontaneous and creative in telling your partner how much they mean to you. One way is through love notes!

Expressing feelings candidly may not be natural to everyone. But receiving small handwritten love notes can be an unexpected gesture if you can do so. There is almost always something romantic with this action.

Consider sending your loved one short yet meaningful love notes from time to time. It could simply say “Thinking of you” or similar.

You might leave it on their desk or beside the bedside table in the morning. It will surely brighten their day.

Small acts like this show how much you are thinking about your partner. If you want to put in more effort, you may also write them a longer love letter instead!

Final thoughts

Telling someone you love them can happen in many creative and spontaneous ways. Simple yet thoughtful romantic gestures are ones your significant other is sure to appreciate and reciprocate too.


Top photo: She receives a love letter. Adobe Stock image.

5 thoughts on “How to tell someone you love them”

  1. In the older Chinese culture, love is professed through acts of service [love] rather than words of love. One may be disappointed if one is to wait for the words of love from these people! They say ’till the cows come home…’

  2. So good! The small things are so big! Body language, eye contact, undivided attn – so rare I this constantly connected world! The notes – I love doing that for my people. But don’t necessarily want them myself. Everyone in my house has different ‘languages’ gets a little tricky! But always doable!

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