I think being friends has to be at the core of a 21st-century romantic relationship. It is the glue, essentially, that holds together the good stuff that could potentially come with time, such as buying a home and having kids. Truthfully though I see this element lacking in some relationships around me, with the people within the couple wanting to have that special thing called “love” above all else (including genuinely liking the person they’re with). There are also satisfied couples around me. And there are so many ways for people to meet now, from online at Guernsey dating or elsewhere to in person. In my opinion, people can only find true happiness once they love themselves first; they can build on this happiness even more with a friendship that buds into a romance.
The idea of being friends first isn’t easy, but it is possible. After all, Western society has more and more people stepping up in favor of equality and, in a friendship, people are typically equals. Plus, genuine friends do not have requirements of one another other than to be respectful to the other.
I also like that being a friend today is a choice, rather than feeling like it’s something you have to do. Also, friends are supportive of one another. Support is an important quality to have in a significant other, whether meeting through Kent dating or another avenue.
When you start as friends and then move onto a modern-day romance, I think you are also able to achieve a deep level of connection. This is true regardless of your age, with some people meeting over senior dating sites, Devon singles, or the like online.
This is more than just a connection over social media, which would likely only be surface level. While social media platforms, such as Facebook and Twitter, can prove useful for staving off loneliness and also helping us understand more about events in our world, there is a lot to be said for making face-to-face contact with others to forge a relationship and helping one another outside of public forums. This is a relationship that builds trust, which is an essential component of a romantic relationship.
The reality is that when a romantic relationship starts, it is often full of a rush of giddiness, whether it came from a friendship or not. But over time these feelings settle, and it is then that you see more of who your significant other truly is at heart. In this phase of the young or more senior dating relationship (after the “honeymoon” phase), it is great to have it come from being friends first because then you already know so much about one another, have similar interests, and feel happy when you spend time together. Plus, you have already been supportive of one another so you can continue to do so.
When that initial sexual attraction wears, it is great to have a shared bond built through friendship to hold you two together. Entering your romance with shared ethics and likes, which connected you first in friendship, offers the opportunity for something more long-term. Be authentically you, from the start!
As someone who has recently celebrated her 50th wedding anniversary, I could not agree more! :)
Absolutely a great topic. One thing is for certain — friendship is needed for any healthy relationship. Taking the time to develop a friendship after meeting someone is becoming less and less common these days. Friendship as the basis for romance seems a logical way towards healthy relationships. Great post. Have a wonderful week. I will be sharing the post on the social media.
I couldn’t agree more, Christy!
I like very much this article.
I wish you a good week.
Take good care of you,
Christy, wise words indeed…I’m watching my son and his friends and they seem to talk, be open and realise early on that meaningful friendship in a relationship is so important! 😀
I fell now the fragility and uncertainty of relationships leads to friends being remaining friends to keep intact the sweet bond rather than venturing into romance and lose it all! Rather risk it all.
Excellent post! We fall int the hole of falling in “love” first because it feels really good in the short term but the friendship is lacking. No foundation. Also you’re right about self love first.
After spending twenty one years with my best friend, I couldn’t agree more, Christy…he’s my go to for everything.
A solid friendship can develop into something even more meaningful and solid. Great post, Christy.
Great article! Friendship is at the core of a strong romantic relationship for it teaches tolerance, acceptance of differences and unconditional support.
I definitely value it in my own relationships but I also see that it’s not the only way. I know a couple who have been together 10+ years but who don’t have that tendency toward friendship. They spent a lot of time apart, pursuing things alone, hanging out with their separate friends. Although I don’t relate to it, it seems to work for them, and it seems to follow the framework of couples who are generationally much older Certainly my grandparents were not friends and not expected to be. I think the inner workings of a couple are really changing, we’re redefining what we want and need out of a partner.
Haha. Christy, like my heroine in “Atonement, Tennessee” I am “on a sabbatical from relationships. No man, woman, or miscellaneous other.” However, I’ve always said that IF I were to change my mind, he would have to have been a friend for quite a while first. Cheers!
Christy, I have come to the same conclusion about what really matters in a marriage and romance isn’t at the top of my list. A friend goes the distance.
I love your article Christy, so spot on. It is exactly how me and my b/f started out, we were work colleagues who became friends and at some point began dating. Friendship is so important in relationships, that deep bond of true companionship, trust and support is a great building block for a love story 💕 xx
Friendship can be the base of healthy relationship in a couple. I can be agree on that. Nice post Christy
I think that a couple (married or not) who are each other’s best friends, will survive all of life’s challenges. This idea of friendship is especially important in light of the fact that we all change over time. My wife and I started dating in 1971 and both of us are different people today. For us, we grew together instead of apart. Friendship at the core will allow that to happen.
Wise words, dear Christy. My husband and I were friends first. And we’ve stayed friends and more by continuing to do the things we did when we first met. Walking side by side in nature is best for these besties. <3
Blessings ~ Wendy
Astounding on how much we write on similar topics Christy. This was a fantastic and accurate article. We build strong relationships with friendship. <3
I have always thought what you said in this article is true.
Makes me think of a grade school poem: There are gold ships, There are silver ships, But is no ship like friendship.
I suppose there is a sexship, too! :D
Excellent post Christy! This weekend — Janet and I are celebrating 39 years of marriage and friendship. The ongoing talks, the sharing of ideas, the walks, the team approach, the mutual respect, and even the presence is irreplaceable.
Yes! Yes! Yes! I am just catching up on my blog reading, Christy, and just commented on another post of yours…we were friends first, my husband and I. For 6 months. Was the smartest thing decision I have ever made.
Your story is a great one and I’ve enjoyed following it, Loretta. Thanks for including such great feedback here :)
I really like this. I hadn’t thought about that idea of being “equals” correlating with friendship. I have increasingly thought I’ll end up with whoever I’m meant to after we’ve been friends & gained that deeper connection over a period of time. This has always conflicted with that stupid societal notion of “missing you chance” and “the friend zone”! 🤷🏽♂️
*”missing your chance”
When you visit any web site, it may store or retrieve information on your browser, mostly in the form of cookies. Control your personal Cookie Services here.