Hi, this is Rachael. Are you ready to get married? It isn’t uncommon for couples to go into a marriage thinking things will be one way only to be thrown for a loop when they turn out another. The thought of preparing for marriage might sound odd to some, but setting goals and communicating as a couple now will set you up for happy, functional relationship or, in other words, a successful marriage.
There is no wrong time to start preparing for marriage. Knowing what to expect before you walk down the aisle and take your vows will be a valuable asset to the success of your relationship. That’s why we’re looking at 8 tips for a successful marriage that you can start doing today.
1. Communicate Like There’s no Tomorrow
Couples need to be able to talk about things to have a healthy marriage.
Communication is how you will learn to solve problems together. Instead of yelling or using an argument as an excuse to be mean or hurtful toward one another, act as partners and see the opportunity to solve the problem you face as partners.
Research shows that even communication about sex also has positive benefits to your marriage. Couples who were able to be open and honest about sex and their expectations for it showed both heightened relationship quality and sexual satisfaction.
2. Maintain a Marital Friendship
Your spouse is more than just a romantic partner, they are the person you should want to hang out and have fun with. Studies show that couples are happier when they view each other as their best friend.
Yes, having a marital friendship is just as important as having romance in your relationship. You can be a good friend by being honest, trustworthy, dependable, loyal, and by planning fun activities with your spouse.
3. Take a Marriage Class
There are many classes available both online and likely in your community specifically designed to prepare for marriage.
During a marriage course or class, you will be taught how to build strong foundations for a better future. During your class, you will talk about how to communicate with your spouse, commit to your marriage, and resolve conflict, and keep the love alive in your relationship.
Many churches offer marriage preparation classes, but you by no means have to be religious to take the courses.
4. Spend Quality Time Together
Take your marriage preparation to the next level by scheduling a weekly date night from now until the end of time. Studies show that couples who have a regular date night are less likely to get divorced than couples who don’t make quality time together a priority.
Further research in the same study by The National Marriage Project goes on to say that couples also experience a boost in marital excitement, sexual activity, and have better communication after spending quality time together than other couples.
You can prepare for a healthy, happy marriage by ensuring you are regularly spending time with your spouse doing something fun, romantic, or simply unwinding. So long as you are doing it together, it’s all good!
5. Set Goals Together as a Couple
One sure fire way to bond with your spouse and prepare for a successful marriage is to set realistic goals for your relationship.
For example, one goal may be to lose weight together. Studies show that couples who exercise together are more likely to stick with their exercise routines than those who don’t.
Other great ideas for goals would be to have more tech-free time with your spouse, to have a regular date night, and to be more vulnerable with each other.
6. Preparing for Marriage: Get Your Finances in Order
Money can be an uncomfortable subject for couples to discuss, but it’s important to get money talk out in the open when preparing for marriage. The sooner you can communicate openly about finances, the easier it will be in the future.
Discuss how you will handle your finances, joint account or separate? Who will pay for what? How will you handle debt if you are bringing any into the marriage?
It’s also important to go over your combined salaries and discuss a monthly budget that you can both agree on.
7. Talk About Your Expectations
Many couples find it helps when preparing for marriage to talk about their life expectations.
For example, do the two of you share the same faith? There are many positive links between sharing religious beliefs, being happier, and having a healthier lifestyle. Studies show that couples who share the same faith are happier than couples who don’t have the same one. They also have lower anxiety and less alcohol consumption and smoking.
On the other hand, not sharing the same views on politics, social issues, and faith can cause troubles later.
Other expectations to talk about for a successful marriage are:
- Your sexual desires and expected frequency of sex
- Do you want to have children? If so, when, how many, and how do you plan on raising them? Are you on the same page about your parenting styles?
- What will your living arrangements be?
- How you will handle problems in the future?
These things are all important topics to discuss for a successful marriage ahead. These conversations help show how your relationship will grow and move forward.
8. Be Partners in Every Sense of the Word
Partners are different than couples. By definition, they are someone who shares the same endeavors and common interests as you. When you partner up with your spouse, this means you try to include them when making big decisions and you consider their thoughts and feelings on matters.
Final Words on Having a Successful Marriage
Preparing for marriage is a great way to show your partner that you care about your future nuptials and value your relationship. You can prepare for marriage now by putting a priority on your romantic friendship, date night, and making decisions together as partners. With practice, you’ll have the tools necessary to make your marriage an absolute success.
About the Writer
Rachael Pace is a relationship expert with years of experience in training and helping couples. She has helped countless individuals and organizations around the world, offering effective and efficient solutions for healthy and successful relationships. She is a featured writer for Marriage.com, a reliable resource to support healthy happy marriages.
I am definitely going to link to this article in one of my upcoming posts! Not only solid writing, just excellent tips all around. I look forward to reading your future posts. I am going to follow you, if you feel so inclined, take in a post on my site, hopefully you will enjoy and follow me as well. Thank you for this great post!
Thanks in advance for the link back, TJ. Yes, I’ve already looked at your site and am happy to connect!
Hi Rachael/Christy,
These are excellent tips.
Nicole and I are best of friends. We giggle and laugh all the time.
We’re just two big kids.😂
Honest communication is a must especially when you have come up short on your end.
It’s easy, to be honest about your partner shortcoming but it takes humility and courage to tell on yourself.
My mother said what she likes most about our marriage is how we give each other compliments in public.
I’m not afraid to let the world know that I’m a better man because of my wife.
Money is a big one too.
You have to have realistic expectations and honest communication about money.
We discussed our expectations about sex and faith.
But when we got on the same page about money, our marriage flourished.
Awesome post!
A good marriage can be the closet of friendships between two people who help, comfort and protect each other.
Love can make a marriage strong, but the marriage will become even stronger when a husband and wife worship Jehovah God. Then the marriage will become like a three fold cord – a rope of three strands tightly woven together.
A rope like this is much stronger than a rope of only two strands.
Thank you Missy for sharing your opinions on faith and love.
Excellent points! We do pre-marital mentoring and this hits the spot!
You’re doing important work!!
Wonderful advice, I feel communication and friendship are a must! thanks for sharing ! :)
Friendship really is the base, right. Thanks Tanya :)
Pleasure!
xo
Fantastic advice. My husband and I have done nearly everything on this list, and I know we are a great team because of it. Communication truly is key!
Cheers to teamwork, sweet friend :)
Thank you!
:D
I think having a sense of humour should be included! Sometimes you just have to laugh your way through a challenge.
Laughing is essential, yes! Great addition to the list, my friend :)
Marriage is very challenging, much more so when the rose colored glasses fall off. This advice is wonderful! Thank you!
Yes I hear what you say about rose colored glasses. I look at myself and say I’m not perfect so why would I expect someone else to be? So glad you found Rachael’s post to be well-written and helpful, AmyRose!
Wonderful post !!
Great feedback :D
Excellent tips!
Thanks Esme!
Great post! Wonderful advice!
So glad you like Rachael’s post, Georgia! I particularly like what she writes about friendship being the base of a healthy marriage.