Do you spend each day wishing things were different? If so, then this guest post from Rebekah Louise about how to claim your magnificence is for you.
The Impact of Negative Thoughts
Perhaps you regret the decision you made, or that harsh comment you said to a friend. Maybe you’ve experienced trauma, and now your life is different, things are no longer the same, and the painful memories flood your mind daily.
We think between 50,000 – 70,000 thoughts a day and a large majority of these are negative and unhelpful, which can be all-consuming. When we allow negative thoughts to plague our mind, we soon begin to believe them and punish ourselves, consciously or unconsciously.
Why You Don’t Realise Your Magnificence
When we feel shame, guilt or have experienced trauma, it is often the case that we choose to think less of ourselves. These feelings are strong and overpowering; they can cause depression, stress and anxiety.
Our self-esteem, self-love and confidence reduce, and our destructive thought patterns expand. If we lack in these areas, we can become emotionally stuck and unable to move forward with our lives.
We see our pain as something to be shameful of, perhaps seeing ourselves as damaged. We may want to hide away, decline social invitations, and keep quiet. To simply fade into the background. We feel as though we no longer have something to contribute. People may judge us for past decisions or may not take us seriously.
If You Have Self-Doubt
It’s easy to doubt yourself and your magnificence. Maybe you believe that you should’ve chosen a different path in life and then you wouldn’t be experiencing this emotional turmoil. ‘If only I hadn’t said this…’ and ‘If only I hadn’t made that decision’, then life would be fine. We beat ourselves up and, again, we are emotionally paralysed and unable to live in the freedom we are meant to.
What we don’t see is that there is beauty in brokenness and that when we hide away, we are robbing ourselves, and the world around us, of our magic and brilliance.
The Japanese use a term known as Wabi Sabi. The phrase means ‘to accept and appreciate the pain, incompleteness and ugliness of life as they are natural.’ It is a way of living that focuses on finding beauty within the imperfections of life, rather than focusing on what could have been.
How to be Truly Magnificent
The Collins Dictionary defines the word magnificent as ‘extremely good, beautiful or impressive.’ How, then, do we achieve this when we are experiencing emotional upset and pain?
Sarah Alexander, who is the founder of the Magnificence Coaching Programme, emphasises the need for us to re-programme our minds and to make this a daily habit.
When we experience trauma, we can use our story to help others, rather than hide away. Also, we need to believe that there are people out there who need our insight into their situations and pain. We hold solutions, advice, and encouragement, and if we don’t offer ourselves, then others will miss out.
To embrace new thought patterns, we need to let go of old thoughts. There is the need to bring the mind to focus and begin working on positive, affirming opinions of ourselves.
One way to shift old thought patterns is to practise mindfulness. Psychology Today explains mindfulness as the practice of being fully aware of our present moment. This could be things that you can see, hear, touch, smell, or your thoughts and feelings. When we connect with our present moment, we close off our mind to the negative and unhelpful comments. It’s as though we press the reset button and can continue our day afresh.
However, this reset button needs to be pressed numerous times a day. Don’t worry; you will not need to make room in your schedule for long periods of time. Taking ten deep breaths before carrying on is enough to focus your attention on the here and now. Be gentle with yourself; any practise takes exactly that, practise. It will take a while before mindfulness becomes a daily habit.
Now It’s Over to You.
We all experience upset at varying degrees, and we all allow our minds to dwell on negative and unhelpful thoughts. The choice is ours to make, do we stay in a place of despair or do we find our Wabi Sabi and appreciate the beauty in the imperfections of life? Make your brokenness count, and in the process, reach out and help others. Embrace your magnificence.
Allow yourself to slow down, breathe and practise being in the moment. This will let you shift your balance from doing to being. When you wake up and when you go to bed be thankful for the beauty in the ordinary, accept situations as they are, and do not chase perfection.
About Rebekah Louise
Meet Rebekah Louise, a freelance writer for hire. Her personal experience, knowledge, and skills combine to create quality content tailored to your needs. She aims to help women successfully achieve emotional freedom and peace. When she’s not writing, Rebekah can be found on her yoga mat, running around after her son, or eating cake.