Dating for Older Couples: Is Long Distance Doable?

The reality is that the person who sets your heart racing might not live in the same city or even in the same country as you. Whether you meet on a trip, through social media, or a dating site, it can be tough to deny the sparks. But long distance dating has a bad rap as being difficult to maintain. So, is dating long distance doable? For older couples, their families may even try to talk them out of it. Can it lead to something long-term? These are questions to ask in this post sponsored by Digital Dudes, who compensated me for my honest opinions.

Dating afar as an older woman

Does your loved one live on the other side of the ocean? Photo via Pexels (CC0).

Facts about Long Distance Relationships

About 14 million Americans consider themselves to be in long distance relationships, as per research collected by Statistic Brain. Interestingly, about 40 percent of long distances end in a breakup; yup, that’s less than half. And there are 3.75 million long distance marriages.

These numbers tell us that long distance dating can work for couples, whether their ages are over 40, under 40 or smack on the nose. In fact, the number of long distance marriages in the U.S. is on the rise, as per The New York Times. Part of the reason for this increase is that more women are reaching high-ranking positions in the workplace and get desirable positions that geographically distance them from their families. Other reasons for couples living apart include military service and hospitalization.

Over 40’s Dating: Unique Dating Challenges

Whether you’re divorced or not, have children or not, have changed careers or not… by age 40, the chances are good that you’ve been dealt some tough cards at some point in life. You’ve overcome them like a champ and are now looking for love. You deserve this!

By the age of 40, you may be going strong in your career or even starting a new one. You’ll likely have more responsibilities (think work, mortgage or rent, family, etc.) than at age 20. But even if you have a career that demands a lot of your time and energy, it’s important to make time to connect with other singles as socializing has many health benefits. An active social life can improve feelings of well-being. Plus, you’ll likely get out on walks and other physical activities with those you hang out with so your body will be in better shape too. There’s even support for it extending the number of years you live.

So, how do you meet someone in this whirlwind called life? Online dating sites are a great option, especially if you find yourself with little time to yourself until late at night when the kids are asleep. Being able to go online to look for romantic prospects enables you to get to know someone without giving up valuable family time. And please don’t think that being a single mom reduces your chances of finding someone online to date because it doesn’t.

Dating Tips for Older Couples over Long Distances

With online dating opportunities increasing at platforms such as Older-Dating.com, the reality is that you might fall for someone who isn’t local. And while long distance relationships have a reputation for being hard to keep, they are doable for older couples when you put in the effort. Here are some ways to make the long distance relationship work:

Use Open Communication – The key to any relationship, whether you’re in the same house or miles away from one another, is open, honest communication. Set up regular times to phone one another, as well as live chats, texts, and emails. Make a commitment to speak regularly to each other so that you don’t drift apart emotionally over time.

Use All Technologies – Utilize technologies readily available like Skype or FaceTime on your smartphones to have video conversations. Seeing one another as you talk makes it feel more like you’re in the same room and there’s that intimacy that comes with making eye contact. Many options are free, and they’re usually easy to setup and use.

Trust One Another – Absolutely. Again this is crucial for any romantic relationship, no matter the distance. As an older dating couple, you’ve both likely felt heartache and perhaps even been cheated on, so you may be wary of trusting someone again. Especially if there’s a big physical distance between your residences. But if you both dedicate yourself to the long distance relationship, then you’ll make this work long-term.

Alternate Visits – Yes, it’s important to see your partner in person to get to the next stage of this relationship! It could be at vacation time, on weekends, or another scenario, depending on whether you have kids, your work schedule, how far you two live apart, and other factors. By spending time personally together, you can start to learn the everyday habits of the person you’re dating, especially if your visits are at their home. Alternative between your two locations too so that not just one person is making all of the travel efforts, which takes time, energy, and money. This is being fair and respectful.

Quote about love growing stronger with distance and time apart

The heart grows fonder as a long distance dater, just as the saying goes. Photo ©2018 Christy B.

Embracing Long Distance Dating

It just might be that long distance works for you. There actually are benefits to dating someone who lives further away than your own city. Yes, I’m talking about the benefits of time apart, even from someone you adore. Remember that quote about absence making the heart grow fonder…

Also, you may worry about a relationship taking over your life. This likely won’t be the case if you’re a long-distancer as you can spend your days as you please and have the phone conversation at the mutually agreed-upon time with your partner. Lastly, research shows that long-distance couples can feel closer than couples living in close proximity. They can also have better communication.

Yes, so the next time someone puts down long distance dating, you can tell them those benefits! There are positive points for older long-distance partners, you just have to look for them. Obviously though it takes effort. Also, remember what drew you to that special someone in the first place as a way to keep that affection between you two alive.

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54 thoughts on “Dating for Older Couples: Is Long Distance Doable?

  1. Very important issue Christy..
    If there is real love between two…distances are nothing…
    Thanks for sharing…:-)

  2. Fab article, Christy! LUV the pic you took and how you utilized it. It’s crazy, but I’m now seeing ads for dating sites for people 50 & 60 +. We all want and need love.

  3. I am 29 and healthcare professional currently in Uk pursuing further specialisation, my partner resides in India. Its been almost 2 years that we have been in a long distance relationship (in India we reside in different cities). We love each other and trust each other completely. I am so happy and lucky to have found my partner who has supported me in all my career endeavours. We are looking forward to getting married this year.
    The love that we share is a once in a lifetime feeling for me and hence its worth all the distances! I have been in a long distance relationship earlier on in life and had been cheated on. However I have no insecurities right now.
    If its with the right person, everything works out. It should be effortless.
    Great post Christy!!

  4. I know people that have had success in long distance relationships. I don’t have a lot of time for dating, but I would try long the long distance thing. Might make me more likely to make time for it.

  5. Great article, Christy! You really provided some helpful insights. On behalf of my senior friends and myself, thank you so much!

    • Yes, that research is interesting to read, isn’t it! The researchers I linked to in the post found that long-distancers had a stronger connectivity than those who lived closer geographically. It shows the importance of communication, no matter the distance between you. Thanks Mihran!

  6. I believe that if the couple truly loves each other they will make it work. Have seen it work for many people. Great article!

  7. Long distance relationships work if there is trust (and trust beats commitment any day). Unlike in the past when there were snail mail pen pals and romance brewed between them, there’s no dearth of technology today: a video chat between two people living in California and Kuala Lumpur is as possible as one’s decision to catch the evening flight to meet the other is workable. Interesting post, Christy, because nothing beats true love.

  8. Indeed, a very important issue, Christy. Modern media can bridging and solve some problems. Also for people in hospitalization modern media could give more posibilities of communictaion. Here in Germany we are only at the beginning.
    Thank you for another great posting. Hey, you are a wonderful romantic photographer, too. 😉 Michael

  9. Great post Christy, I am 50+ and have tried online dating. Interestingly enough, I dismissed anyone in another country. I held the shield up that love was tricky enough without adding distance into the mix. I came to see that it was just my armour against being hurt. In later life, we all have the same need to connect, age is irrelevant. Life is different, because we are not looking to start a family. I guess having a clear awareness of who you are is a good starting place, everything else is ‘stuff’ that can be discussed and negotiated. xXx

  10. I love reading your blogs. I figured you’d get many responses from this one. hehehe…
    I believe that absence makes the heart grow fonder. My perspective on that is growing fonder is missing someone for a few days to no more than 2 weeks. Depending upon how often this happens can be crucial but It’s possible to make it work. On the other hand, I do not believe in long distance relationships. I think you are setting your self up for a fail when you date from long distance. Some people over 60 may deal with it, because they are ok being alone most times and perhaps it feels good to say you have someone in your life. Although we have FaceTime, Google Hangouts and devices like Skype , nothing can replace physically being with someone . More often than not the people involved
    ( especially the man) has someone their seeing locally. Again, this was a great blog!

  11. My mother was terribly lonely following my father’s death a few years ago. They had spent almost 50 years together and my grown siblings and I worried our mother could not cope with being alone. We encouraged her to try a few dating websites. It didn’t take long for her to find a “friend” in another state who was also lonely, and a widower, with grown children and grandchildren of his own. Of course, they didn’t date for long; wanting to make every moment count, they married and now enjoy “commuting” back and forth, dividing their time between each others’ homes and visiting with their respective families. It just goes to show; it’s never too late to find love as long as you allow your heart to be open.

  12. I think it’s difficult to have a long distance relationship, but I also love that my husband is gone for a good portion of the week. Gives me a chance to do my own thing on my own schedule. We met online and lived in different towns – but only 40 minutes away. I can’t imagine if we were in different time zones however.

  13. I think this is a fabulous post! I think it can be difficult for a Long distance relationship, but I alway’s live by if it is meant to be be it will be! 🙂 With all the social media and ways of keeping connected these days I think it can be a lot easier!

    Phoebe xo

  14. I was in a long distance at age 38–my advice for others is to use FaceTime. Speaking over the phone is one thing but actually seeing how a person speaks and looking at their face makes a huge difference. I HATED FaceTime but was grateful to get to know my now husband better through it’s use.

  15. Great topic you talk about here Christy 😊 Long distanse can so go if the love is stong enough. I perosnaly have experience it. And it can go for a while for me. And if the love is strong enough I think they will figure a good sulution for them both, and maybe move closer eachother or together. Easter hug 🐥💛

  16. I was in a long-distance relationship for several years and found it quite satisfying. The popularity of this post would indicate that the answer to your question is a resounding YES! Great post, Christy ❤

  17. Great post Christy, love is such a wonderful emotion, real love can make you feel that you can take on the world and who doesn’t love that flutter of butterflies in the tummy and the excitement of seeing your partner.

    My b/f and I have morphed into a somewhat long distance relationship due to our respective caring responsibilities. Although we live in the same city, albeit at different ends of the city, 50 mile round trip, we now can go five to six weeks without seeing each other. Somehow we have made this work for us. We text during the day, we WhatsApp, we endeavour to speak to each other on the phone daily. Last night for the first time in ages we had a heart to heart on messenger about our respective parents frailty. This is something my b/f probably couldn’t open up about face to face. Writing your thoughts and feelings, really opening up to someone is a wonderful way to love. I cheer on all long distance relationships. We all need some love 💖 xx

  18. I found all the responses fascinating… I met my new partner by writing my bog, and commenting on his.. we both adored each other’s blogs, and when he had the opportunity changing planes after a year, we met for five hours. That was the start!

    Two years later, two thousand letters later, and a year of skyping, and we were together.

    He left everything behind n his country and my family disowned me – I am eighty and he is sixty five and we have a wickedly delicious and fulfilling relationship…Even on the internet birds of a feather flock together !!!

    It helps to have both done a lot of consciousness raising so that we don’t have a lot of ‘stuff’ to clog up our communication, and no co-dependency issues either…

    • Valerie, I got goosebumps when I read your comment – In a good way! Congratulations on finding one another and this wonderful phase of life together. So happy for you ♥

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