The reality is that the person who sets your heart racing might not live in the same city or even in the same country as you. Whether you meet on a trip, through social media, or a dating site, it can be tough to deny the sparks. But long distance dating has a bad rap as being difficult to maintain. So, is dating long distance doable? For older couples, their families may even try to talk them out of it. Can it lead to something long-term? These are questions to ask in this post sponsored by Digital Dudes, who compensated me for my honest opinions.
Facts about Long Distance Relationships
About 14 million Americans consider themselves to be in long distance relationships, as per research collected by Statistic Brain. Interestingly, about 40 percent of long distances end in a breakup; yup, that’s less than half. And there are 3.75 million long distance marriages.
These numbers tell us that long distance dating can work for couples, whether their ages are over 40, under 40 or smack on the nose. In fact, the number of long distance marriages in the U.S. is on the rise, as per The New York Times. Part of the reason for this increase is that more women are reaching high-ranking positions in the workplace and get desirable positions that geographically distance them from their families. Other reasons for couples living apart include military service and hospitalization.
Over 40’s Dating: Unique Dating Challenges
Whether you’re divorced or not, have children or not, have changed careers or not… by age 40, the chances are good that you’ve been dealt some tough cards at some point in life. You’ve overcome them like a champ and are now looking for love. You deserve this!
By the age of 40, you may be going strong in your career or even starting a new one. You’ll likely have more responsibilities (think work, mortgage or rent, family, etc.) than at age 20. But even if you have a career that demands a lot of your time and energy, it’s important to make time to connect with other singles as socializing has many health benefits. An active social life can improve feelings of well-being. Plus, you’ll likely get out on walks and other physical activities with those you hang out with so your body will be in better shape too. There’s even support for it extending the number of years you live.
So, how do you meet someone in this whirlwind called life? Online dating sites are a great option, especially if you find yourself with little time to yourself until late at night when the kids are asleep. Being able to go online to look for romantic prospects enables you to get to know someone without giving up valuable family time. And please don’t think that being a single mom reduces your chances of finding someone online to date because it doesn’t.
Dating Tips for Older Couples over Long Distances
With online dating opportunities increasing at platforms such as Older-Dating.com, the reality is that you might fall for someone who isn’t local. And while long distance relationships have a reputation for being hard to keep, they are doable for older couples when you put in the effort. Here are some ways to make the long distance relationship work:
Use Open Communication – The key to any relationship, whether you’re in the same house or miles away from one another, is open, honest communication. Set up regular times to phone one another, as well as live chats, texts, and emails. Make a commitment to speak regularly to each other so that you don’t drift apart emotionally over time.
Use All Technologies – Utilize technologies readily available like Skype or FaceTime on your smartphones to have video conversations. Seeing one another as you talk makes it feel more like you’re in the same room and there’s that intimacy that comes with making eye contact. Many options are free, and they’re usually easy to setup and use.
Trust One Another – Absolutely. Again this is crucial for any romantic relationship, no matter the distance. As an older dating couple, you’ve both likely felt heartache and perhaps even been cheated on, so you may be wary of trusting someone again. Especially if there’s a big physical distance between your residences. But if you both dedicate yourself to the long distance relationship, then you’ll make this work long-term.
Alternate Visits – Yes, it’s important to see your partner in person to get to the next stage of this relationship! It could be at vacation time, on weekends, or another scenario, depending on whether you have kids, your work schedule, how far you two live apart, and other factors. By spending time personally together, you can start to learn the everyday habits of the person you’re dating, especially if your visits are at their home. Alternative between your two locations too so that not just one person is making all of the travel efforts, which takes time, energy, and money. This is being fair and respectful.
Embracing Long Distance Dating
It just might be that long distance works for you. There actually are benefits to dating someone who lives further away than your own city. Yes, I’m talking about the benefits of time apart, even from someone you adore. Remember that quote about absence making the heart grow fonder…
Also, you may worry about a relationship taking over your life. This likely won’t be the case if you’re a long-distancer as you can spend your days as you please and have the phone conversation at the mutually agreed-upon time with your partner. Lastly, research shows that long-distance couples can feel closer than couples living in close proximity. They can also have better communication.
Yes, so the next time someone puts down long distance dating, you can tell them those benefits! There are positive points for older long-distance partners, you just have to look for them. Obviously though it takes effort. Also, remember what drew you to that special someone in the first place as a way to keep that affection between you two alive.