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Don’t Go It Alone: It’s Okay to Ask For Help

Be honest with others that you're struggling

There’s a strange attitude that many people seem to have drilled into them from a very early age that asking for help from the people around them is somehow a sign of weakness. As though the only way to live your life properly is to never need anyone else and be completely independent all of the time. Sure, there’s something a little bit romantic about the idea of being a lone wolf who doesn’t need anyone else to get by, but actually living your life like that is not only difficult but it’s also incredibly lonely.

A good life is one where you’re willing to reach out to other people and understand the importance of accepting help when it’s offered to you. However, because of how we’re all trained to want to be independent, it’s not always easy. In order to get past that, here are some ways to make it easier to ask for help.

Be honest about the problem

If something is wrong, then you’re never really going to get anywhere until you’re actually able to admit that fact and identify what the root of the problem is. One of the things that can strain many relationships, both romantic and otherwise, is the inability for people to be open and honest with each other when they’re struggling.

This isn’t just a matter of people not being truthful with each other, but it’s also a matter of not being honest with themselves either. Before you can reach out to the people around you, you’ve got to take the time to really understand what it is that’s causing the issue in the first place.

Point to solutions

It’s one thing being able to understand a problem; it’s something else entirely to know what the solution is. There are often plenty of different solutions, and many of them can only really work with the support of those around you, but if you don’t understand what you want to do in order to make things better, no one else can either.

Whether it’s understanding that you’ve reached the stage where something like methadone treatment is the only option left for you, or even simply being aware that you need to start cutting certain things and people out of your life, only when you know can you help the people around you understand how they can best support you. Your friends and family might want to help in any way they can, but until they understand what you really need from them, there isn’t much that they can do.

Learn to listen

It’s important to be aware that, even if they have your best interests at heart, sometimes the things that your friends and family have to say aren’t going to be easy to hear. After all, no one likes to hear that some of their problems are their own fault and responsibility.

But if you hide your head in the sand then things are only going to get worse. Make sure that you’re willing to listen to the people who care about you, even if the things that they have to say might sting.

46 thoughts on “Don’t Go It Alone: It’s Okay to Ask For Help”

  1. Dear Christy.
    In young adults, like college students and new scholars, it seems they have high self-esteem, so they do not need help. Actually they need help, but most do not want to be helped. I’m sure you often meet young people who need help, but do not know that they need help! Many people want to help young people.
    In old age, they need help from young people. But most young people are reluctant to help because there is no time. Many people do not want to help old people. If I was 100 years old, who would take me to Tracy Arm Fjord? Ha ha….
    I read a lot of your posts, it feels like a student again ….. :)

    1. Awww I’m glad you are feeling like a student, taking in the words, as I don’t believe we ought to ever stop learning :) Your words are sage reminders that being in tune between body and mind is essential to a better life. Hugs

  2. Guilty. Prior to kids, I lived a pretty independent lifestyle. My motto was, “I got this.” Then my son was born. At age 30, I had to face the hard truth that maybe it really does take a village (and not just when it comes to raising kids). It took me a while to change my ways and learn to lean on others. When I did, I realized I had been missing out on so much community – including knowing the privilege of giving back! I completely agree with you; we need to understand ourselves and our needs before we can reach out for help. None of us can do life alone. Wonderful post.

    1. Thank you for sharing your experiences here with us, Julia. I love that you’ve learned the value of a community spirit and I send healthy vibes to you and your family :)

  3. I’m pretty much the independent type but now that I no longer drive I am learning the art of asking for help. When I’m trying to schedule a ride with Uber, which I have not mastered yet, I do not hesitate to ask for help. It is amazing how this makes me feel connected to a younger generation that delights in sharing their tech skills.

    1. Reaching out to those around us can make us stronger, right?!! I loved reading about your connecting with another generation <3 Thanks for being here, my friend

  4. I am a firm believer that when one is going through stuff that there is no shame in asking for help whether it be emotional, spiritual or financial. Life is too short to be mired in the muck of life.

  5. Cutting people out of your life is a tough choice – yet sometimes the wisest choice. My daughter will not keep company with people who are negative – in her personal life and at work. Great post, Christy!

  6. Lovely words. :) Such peace and wisdom contained in them. I hope you’re well, sweet Christy. Sending you hugs and thank you for this reminder: I’m not always one to ask for help when I need it. This is a gentle reminder that it’s okay to do so. <3

    1. Awww hi Cyndi. I reach out to you now with a hug β™₯ I have to go through the mail tomorrow but I see a big package there that I think is from you! I’ll reach out once I’ve gone through it xx Hugs!

  7. This particularly caught me off guard… I’m one of those that don’t ask for help, it’s hard, but at times it’s better. It must be due to the type of people I’m surrounded with.

    1. For many people, we grow up thinking asking for help signifies weakness.. but I’ve learned that when we reach out to others we can get even stronger. Thanks for taking time to read this one xx

  8. Alessandro Tinchini

    Hello, Christy.
    I have a very personal take on this (as anyone else does, anyway) and I’m going to say just one thing. Loneliness is bad. Ask for help, fearlessly. Life will give you the chance to help back others in the future, that’s how it works.
    Big hugs.

  9. You always manage to come up with such beautiful posts. I feel so much connected to this post.
    I am not sure but i think i am too an addict and i should really seek out for help.
    Thank you once again Christy

    1. How nice that we both visited one another’s blogs yesterday! Regarding your thoughts about possibly being addicted, speak with someone close to you and they may advise you as to what the issue is, if there is one.. A loving friend or family member is a wonderful resource xx

  10. Great advice Christy… I think we have all been there at one point and time in our lives. Hearing sometimes can hurt but when others do it out of love advice comes easier. Never be afraid to reach out and ask for help. Once received you are most likely the person who will give freely to another…


    1. I know it’s hard to listen when the words are digging into an open wound but if it’s done in a loving, helpful way then I do hope we stay open-minded. Appreciate your comment, Mich.

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