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Don’t Go It Alone: It’s Okay to Ask For Help

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Be honest with others that you're struggling

You don’t have to be a lone wolf. Friends and family can help you. Pexels, CC0 License.

There’s a strange attitude that many people seem to have drilled into them from a very early age that asking for help from the people around them is somehow a sign of weakness. As though the only way to live your life properly is to never need anyone else and be completely independent all of the time. Sure, there’s something a little bit romantic about the idea of being a lone wolf who doesn’t need anyone else to get by, but actually living your life like that is not only difficult but it’s also incredibly lonely.

A good life is one where you’re willing to reach out to other people and understand the importance of accepting help when it’s offered to you. However, because of how we’re all trained to want to be independent, it’s not always easy. In order to get past that, here are some ways to make it easier to ask for help.

Be honest about the problem

If something is wrong, then you’re never really going to get anywhere until you’re actually able to admit that fact and identify what the root of the problem is. One of the things that can strain many relationships, both romantic and otherwise, is the inability for people to be open and honest with each other when they’re struggling.

This isn’t just a matter of people not being truthful with each other, but it’s also a matter of not being honest with themselves either. Before you can reach out to the people around you, you’ve got to take the time to really understand what it is that’s causing the issue in the first place.

Point to solutions

It’s one thing being able to understand a problem; it’s something else entirely to know what the solution is. There are often plenty of different solutions, and many of them can only really work with the support of those around you, but if you don’t understand what you want to do in order to make things better, no one else can either.

Whether it’s understanding that you’ve reached the stage where something like methadone treatment is the only option left for you, or even simply being aware that you need to start cutting certain things and people out of your life, only when you know can you help the people around you understand how they can best support you. Your friends and family might want to help in any way they can, but until they understand what you really need from them, there isn’t much that they can do.

Learn to listen

It’s important to be aware that, even if they have your best interests at heart, sometimes the things that your friends and family have to say aren’t going to be easy to hear. After all, no one likes to hear that some of their problems are their own fault and responsibility.

But if you hide your head in the sand then things are only going to get worse. Make sure that you’re willing to listen to the people who care about you, even if the things that they have to say might sting.

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46 Comments

  1. michnavs June 23, 2017

    These are all so true and practical Christy…

    Listen to people who care about us…even if what they have to say may hurt us…

    Reply
    1. Christy B June 24, 2017

      I know it’s hard to listen when the words are digging into an open wound but if it’s done in a loving, helpful way then I do hope we stay open-minded. Appreciate your comment, Mich.

  2. Wendy L. Macdonald June 23, 2017

    Excellent advice, dear Christy.
    Blessings ~ Wendy <3

    Reply
    1. Christy B June 24, 2017

      Blessings β™₯

  3. rollyachabotbooks June 23, 2017

    Great advice Christy… I think we have all been there at one point and time in our lives. Hearing sometimes can hurt but when others do it out of love advice comes easier. Never be afraid to reach out and ask for help. Once received you are most likely the person who will give freely to another…

    Hugs

    Reply
    1. Christy B June 24, 2017

      Exactly. Asking for help can do wonders for our spirit! Hugs xx

  4. Laina Eartharcher June 23, 2017

    These are such wise words! I’m blessed to have come across your blog πŸ’™πŸ’™

    Reply
    1. Christy B June 24, 2017

      I feel the same about your blog β™₯

    2. Laina Eartharcher June 24, 2017

      Aww thank you so much! That genuinely means the world to me πŸ˜πŸ˜πŸ’—πŸ’—πŸ’—

  5. Shyamal June 23, 2017

    You always manage to come up with such beautiful posts. I feel so much connected to this post.
    I am not sure but i think i am too an addict and i should really seek out for help.
    Thank you once again Christy

    Reply
    1. Christy B June 24, 2017

      How nice that we both visited one another’s blogs yesterday! Regarding your thoughts about possibly being addicted, speak with someone close to you and they may advise you as to what the issue is, if there is one.. A loving friend or family member is a wonderful resource xx

    2. Shyamal June 24, 2017

      I totally agree with you. Thanks once again dear

  6. Postivfworld June 24, 2017

    Absolutely agree with what you say! πŸ’œπŸ’œ I wish more people let them selfs believe it’s ok to get help!

    Reply
    1. Christy B June 24, 2017

      True. Asking for help is not a sign of weakness! Have a nice weekend :)

    2. Postivfworld June 25, 2017

      Thanks, you too!!!

  7. Alessandro Tinchini June 24, 2017

    Hello, Christy.
    I have a very personal take on this (as anyone else does, anyway) and I’m going to say just one thing. Loneliness is bad. Ask for help, fearlessly. Life will give you the chance to help back others in the future, that’s how it works.
    Big hugs.

    Reply
    1. Christy B June 24, 2017

      I like what you say about your time will come to help others… wonderful reminders, Alessandro ((hugs))

  8. themonochromereaper June 24, 2017

    This particularly caught me off guard… I’m one of those that don’t ask for help, it’s hard, but at times it’s better. It must be due to the type of people I’m surrounded with.

    Reply
    1. Christy B June 24, 2017

      For many people, we grow up thinking asking for help signifies weakness.. but I’ve learned that when we reach out to others we can get even stronger. Thanks for taking time to read this one xx

    2. themonochromereaper June 24, 2017

      Makes a lot of sense! Always a pleasure! I love learning something new, your blog is full of wisdom😊❀

  9. shehannemoore June 24, 2017

    Wonderful advice my darling xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx to you

    Reply
    1. Christy B June 24, 2017

      Oh Shey, you’re beautiful xx

    2. shehannemoore June 25, 2017

      No no. You are that xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

  10. Sageleaf June 24, 2017

    Lovely words. :) Such peace and wisdom contained in them. I hope you’re well, sweet Christy. Sending you hugs and thank you for this reminder: I’m not always one to ask for help when I need it. This is a gentle reminder that it’s okay to do so. <3

    Reply
    1. Christy B June 24, 2017

      Awww hi Cyndi. I reach out to you now with a hug β™₯ I have to go through the mail tomorrow but I see a big package there that I think is from you! I’ll reach out once I’ve gone through it xx Hugs!

  11. robbiesinspiration June 24, 2017

    Some very good words of wisdom here, Christy.

    Reply
    1. Christy B June 24, 2017

      Nice to hear it is appreciated, Robbie

  12. indianeskitchen June 24, 2017

    You are so right! Especially the part about listening…something I need to do more of…lol

    Reply
    1. Christy B June 24, 2017

      Awww <3 I'm glad we're enjoying one another's blogs!

  13. richa pandey June 24, 2017

    All this happens with everyone at some point of life or the other. Really a great advice. Keep it up

    Reply
    1. Christy B June 24, 2017

      Hi Richa, nice to see you here :) It’s true that leaning on others can be helpful in our times of need xx

  14. bipolarbree1 June 24, 2017

    This is what my next post is about, my dear of sharing about my addiction

    Reply
    1. Christy B June 24, 2017

      I look forward to the read

  15. settleinelpaso June 24, 2017

    Great advice! This is so true that asking for help is not a weakness rather it is an act of bravery. I have shared this post on StumbleUpon. Have a great weekend.

    Reply
    1. Christy B June 24, 2017

      Appreciate the share and support! Happy weekend to you too :)

  16. John Fioravanti June 24, 2017

    Cutting people out of your life is a tough choice – yet sometimes the wisest choice. My daughter will not keep company with people who are negative – in her personal life and at work. Great post, Christy!

    Reply
  17. Tony Burgess June 24, 2017

    I am a firm believer that when one is going through stuff that there is no shame in asking for help whether it be emotional, spiritual or financial. Life is too short to be mired in the muck of life.

    Reply
  18. vivachange77 June 25, 2017

    I’m pretty much the independent type but now that I no longer drive I am learning the art of asking for help. When I’m trying to schedule a ride with Uber, which I have not mastered yet, I do not hesitate to ask for help. It is amazing how this makes me feel connected to a younger generation that delights in sharing their tech skills.

    Reply
    1. Christy B June 26, 2017

      Reaching out to those around us can make us stronger, right?!! I loved reading about your connecting with another generation <3 Thanks for being here, my friend

  19. Julia Weston June 26, 2017

    Guilty. Prior to kids, I lived a pretty independent lifestyle. My motto was, “I got this.” Then my son was born. At age 30, I had to face the hard truth that maybe it really does take a village (and not just when it comes to raising kids). It took me a while to change my ways and learn to lean on others. When I did, I realized I had been missing out on so much community – including knowing the privilege of giving back! I completely agree with you; we need to understand ourselves and our needs before we can reach out for help. None of us can do life alone. Wonderful post.

    Reply
    1. Christy B June 26, 2017

      Thank you for sharing your experiences here with us, Julia. I love that you’ve learned the value of a community spirit and I send healthy vibes to you and your family :)

  20. thegooddose June 26, 2017

    Another great post! πŸ’πŸΌ

    Reply
    1. Christy B June 26, 2017

      I feel the same about your blog!!

    2. thegooddose June 26, 2017

      Thank you Christy! Much appreciated!

  21. hilal achmar August 11, 2017

    Dear Christy.
    In young adults, like college students and new scholars, it seems they have high self-esteem, so they do not need help. Actually they need help, but most do not want to be helped. I’m sure you often meet young people who need help, but do not know that they need help! Many people want to help young people.
    In old age, they need help from young people. But most young people are reluctant to help because there is no time. Many people do not want to help old people. If I was 100 years old, who would take me to Tracy Arm Fjord? Ha ha….
    I read a lot of your posts, it feels like a student again ….. :)

    Reply
    1. Christy B August 11, 2017

      Awww I’m glad you are feeling like a student, taking in the words, as I don’t believe we ought to ever stop learning :) Your words are sage reminders that being in tune between body and mind is essential to a better life. Hugs

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