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How to get out of a bad marriage: 4 steps when it’s time to end it not mend it

How to get out of a bad marriage

So, you’ve decided that you’re not happy with your spouse anymore and you’re ready for a change in your life. Sadly, you shouldn’t feel alone because the vast majority of marriages do end that way nowadays. As the old saying goes, “all good things must come to an end.” What was once a passionate bond might now be a toxic relationship to your mental wellbeing. If you’ve reached the point in the marriage where it’s healthier to end it not mend it, the 4 steps below for how to get out of a bad marriage can prove helpful.

What exactly is a ‘bad marriage’?

Exactly what is “bad” is likely not the same for one person as another. But if your physical or mental health is at risk then that’s not a place to stay in, IMHO.

Some of the relationship problems that can also lead to divorce are:

  • Emotional and romantic incompatibility
  • Moral disagreements
  • Infidelity
  • Financial troubles

If you’ve reached that point in your marriage, here are some next steps:

How to get out of a bad marriage

1. Hire a divorce attorney

Hiring a divorce attorney to help you draw up important papers and establish a solid justification for the divorce is an absolutely pivotal first step. Don’t try to go it alone on the other steps until you’ve at least participated in an initial consultation, as this will provide you with a basic level of knowledge about what you need to do to get the ball rolling.

In many ways, your attorney will serve not only as your legal representation, but also as a consultant to guide your through the process.

Hiring a good divorce attorney can help you establish a long-term relationship with multi-disciplinary law firm. For example, has attorneys that deal with cases related not only to divorce but also injuries and criminal allegations.

2. Prepare for financial contingencies during the process

If your spouse has been providing significant financial support to you and your kids throughout the marriage, you need to prepare to go without their help for some time. Start setting aside funds for a contingency plan in case they withdraw all help during the divorce.

3. Keep a divorce notebook

Keeping a divorce notebook can help you alleviate some of the stress involved in the same way that keeping a journal can be a therapeutic action. It also helps to catalog any actions that your spouse may be taking which could be used as ammo in your case.

4. Do your own research

Finally, now that you have an experienced attorney in your corner and have a means of planning and tracking the progress of the divorce, it’s time to dig deeper into all relevant divorce laws and statutes that could be relevant to your case. If your ex refuses to pay child support then there are actionable steps you can take too.

Don’t let change intimidate you

Many women make the mistake of backing out of a divorce because of the stress involved. While it might seem easier to let bygones be bygones and continue in a marriage that you’re unhappy in, that’s never the wise route to take because it will only lead to emotional suffering for all the parties involved. Including your kids.

If you know for sure that you don’t want to be with your current partner for the rest of your life, it may not make sense to prolong the agony of being in an unenjoyable relationship. Instead, you might pursue how to get out of a bad marriage using the steps above.

12 thoughts on “How to get out of a bad marriage: 4 steps when it’s time to end it not mend it”

  1. Indulge yourself with things you love doing. It will take some time before you are ready to be part of another relationship. Don’t rush this! Take time for yourself. To help yourself recover, make time for hobbies that you ignored during your marriage.

  2. David and I were divorce before our marriage to each other, and have LOTS of advice, but this is one thing – Do NOT sink to their level. No matter how mean and nasty they are to you, just be as nice as a slice of pie, this will get you a better settlement, a quicker divorce, and you will be happier than you held your head up high during the worst situation.

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