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6 signs you’re in an energy-sapping toxic relationship

toxic relationship signs

Many relationships end, but it can be hard to see where the end actually is. When a romantic relationship that isn’t right for both partners goes on for far too long, it can end up being a toxic relationship. Those who have any of the following signs may want to consider going ahead and ending contact before it gets worse.

If you’re not sure whether your connection with someone is unhealthy, see if any of these common signs sound familiar:

1. Scared to leave a toxic relationship

A fear of leaving the relationship, especially if it’s a fear of being harmed for leaving your partner, is always a sign that the relationship has turned toxic. And more importantly, it’s important to get out now.

However, those who worry for their safety may have trouble ending the relationship. Lawyers like those from Jimenez Legal PA can help their clients find a safe way to end the relationship, so the person has protection when they do leave.

2. Small arguments turn into big fights

All couples argue. This is part of a healthy relationship.

But, arguments can quickly escalate, and when this happens frequently, it could be a sign of a toxic relationship. Arguments that include name-calling comments designed just to hurt the other person, and any aggression falls under this category. As do any disagreements that turn physical.

3. Respect is gone

A healthy relationship has mutual respect. In a toxic relationship, however, that respect may have disappeared over time.

A loss of respect can be evident in how one partner treats the other, especially in front of other people. When respect is lost, there can’t be a healthy relationship anymore, so ending relations is likely the best next step.

4. Feel the need to hide your true self

If one partner doesn’t feel comfortable being who they are anymore, the relationship is in a toxic state. When dating, moving in together, or married, both partners should feel they can truly be themselves.

If they have to change who they are or avoid things they enjoy doing to make their companion happy, the relationship is no longer healthy. At this point ending it or seeking couples counseling is a good idea.

Relationship red flags infographic


5. Keeping score in a toxic relationship

After an argument ends, do you work things out and then move on? Or is your other half is keeping score and bringing up past issues repeatedly instead?

The latter scenario could be a sign that you’re in a toxic relationship. It’s incredibly unhealthy for both partners so it’s time to reset and bring attention to negative tones and actions.

That’s because at this point the end of the argument is never really the end. Keeping track of embarrassing moments and bringing them up with friends and family repeatedly is also a sign of an unhealthy connection.

6. Arguing for the sake of arguing

If arguments are happening over and over again, just for the sake of arguing, it’s a sign that communication between the two of you has become poisonous. While fights are normal, they are usually resolved.

Even if there are a few arguments that come up over and over, it could be time to re-evaluate things as that signals underlying issues. More frequent fights shouldn’t be standard either.

Are you in a toxic relationship?

If you notice any of these signs, you could be in an unhealthy situation, and it may be time to consider leaving it. While it probably goes without saying, that’s not always easy to do. If you worry about what could happen when you cut ties, speak with a lawyer today. They can help you figure out the right steps to take so you are safe when you move on.

What are some other signs of a toxic relationship?

41 thoughts on “6 signs you’re in an energy-sapping toxic relationship”

  1. It’s really inspiring content you have shared with all of us. I have been into toxic relationship or you can say, the abusive one. Now I moved on from that.. I am better person without that guy and just focusing on my time, my health and everything about me.
    you inspire many other people like me.. Thank you so much. Loads of love from India.

  2. You pointed out some key red flags to watch out for in a toxic relationship…. Also,I think it’s key for us to always remember the key reason most people get in a relationship in the first place, which is because the person makes you happy and feel good about yourself most of the time while around them.

  3. This is so true! Arguing for the sake or arguing is just not helpful! We have to narrow in on what is causing the arguments and what we have to do to change it!

  4. Excellent post Christy. You’ve covered it so well. I talk about this in a few of my books as you know. These are huge red flags that I hope people will take heed to. <3

  5. Excellent post Christy! So often (especially women) feel they just need to tolerate whatever comes. You and I both know that typically signals some very damaged self-esteem. If the toxic relationship has gone on any length of time, or if there has been a history of toxicity, that’s likely the case. It’s hard to feel positive when you are surrounded by negativity.

    Another warning sign to look for is if you are constantly tense in your body or if you are regularly suffering from digestive distress. Even those who have strong stomachs tend to hold a lot of their stress in their gut as it throws off your gut balance. Our bodies give us lots of cues that we are chronically stressed. It may seem insignificant at first but oh wow… the toll it takes in time! When the impact rears its ugly head, the results can be life changing.

    It’s good to differentiate whether you’re truly in a toxic relationship or if your stress is stemming from unresolved past hurts creating fear, anxiety, etc. Your points here are spot on and definitely signal the kind of toxic relationship we need to simply move on from.

    I applaud you for reminding people they don’t have to be abused. No one deserves such treatment. ♥ Sending you lots of love and wishing you a beautiful weekend ahead!

    1. Holly, your comment reminds me why I love reader comments so much – they encourage me and others, as well as offering additional value to the post with wise words like yours here! You’re right about stomach upset; our bodies can say a lot to us, that’s for sure. We need to listen up! And also if abusing alcohol or another substance starts to happen that’s a sign that things are spiralling. Love you, Holly!!

  6. may i ask what is the proper way if there is to dis associate. I am trying but the other party thinks i am in the wrong. she was highly emotional and over controlling. i dont talk to her and run when i can to protect my peace, what there is left of it.

    1. It sounds like leaving has been the healthiest move for you, and I’m glad you put yourself first. It’s not easy to separate when the heart’s involved, that’s for sure. If you are feeling overwhelmed then please reach out to friends, family, or even a therapist as you can provide them with details about your situation that will determine how best to separate. If a lawyer is needed then do so too. Wishing you good mental health.

  7. I can only agree with you Christy. I have been in toxic relationships and it is not always easy to leave, but absolutely necessary for our own survival, both mental and physical.

  8. The way to light

    Toxic relationships are so harmful indeed.. Our inner voice can guide us to discover which kind of relationship it is..

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