You Said and I Listened: Feedback on the #MeToo Movement

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Is #MeToo blurring lines in dating and relationships?
Here's your feedback about how the #MeToo movement affects the modern-day dating scene. Photo from Pexels (CC0 License).

Recently I shared thoughts on how the #MeToo movement is impacting the dating scene and your comments were very insightful. As usual, you brought intelligent conversations to the table. This is one of the best parts of this blog to me: advancing the issues! As today is International Women’s Day 2018, I thought it would be good timing to share some of the comments. You spoke and I listened about where you think the #MeToo movement is heading, what it means, and how it impacts dating in 2018. Here are a few of your comments (see link above to read each and every one left on the original post):

Is #MeToo blurring lines in dating and relationships?
Here’s your feedback about how the #MeToo movement affects the modern-day dating scene. Photo from Pexels (CC0 License).

Men Face Sexual Harassment Too

Colline reminds us that “there are men, too, who are being harassed by women – but we do not hear about this.” Exactly!

It’s true that most people think first about women as the ones being harassed by men in the workplace. But men face it too. As per the U.S. Equal Employment Opportunity Commission, 16.5 percent of charges alleging sexual harassment were filed by males. So, while the amount is fewer than women, it’s still happening. On a related note, this blog is NOT anti-male – let’s just make that clear.

Follow Your Instincts

Tiffany’s comment left on the #MeToo movement blog post is also one that deserves mention. She writes, “Honestly, I say don’t ever go to a mans house if you feel uncomfortable.” She adds that it’s ideal to have cash available and a car service if you have to go home, such as Uber.

I have learned to listen to my gut more and thus avoid undesirable situations where once I would have ignored my instincts. This is not to say a woman is ever deserving of harassment or any other undesirable behavior but instead as a way to prevent any issue from even happening to begin with.

Is #MeToo about Sexual Harassment or Sexual Abuse?

Loretta explains that for her, “the #MeToo movement was about sexual ABUSE not about harassment, and abusing power.” She comments that the lines between abuse and harassment have become blurred and lumped together in this movement.

After reading Loretta’s comment, I did some Google searches on #MeToo and found that indeed articles about the movement pertaining to both harassment and abuse came up in the search results. This tells me that Loretta has brought to light an important and unfortunate point. Sexual abuse is VERY different than sexual harassment. While I don’t wish either of them on anyone, I have been abused and won’t mix them up. In the future, I plan to write more about sexual abuse vs. harassment as it seems it’s not a clear distinction in everyone’s minds (which surprises and horrifies me, to be honest).

RawMultimedia also talks about blurred lines and the confusion of the #MeToo movement. As he adds, “when has anything in the world been crystally clear…” And he also brings up the point that this is another movement for people to hear and learn about, which can make some individuals feel out of touch.

Speaking Clearly and Honestly When Dating

“Honesty and clarity of intention are necessary,” writes John. He explains that if a guy misses a woman’s signals that she’s not interested in him, then she ought to instead say clearly that she doesn’t think they are a good fit.

Well put, John. Then there’s not ambiguity. As he also writes, there’s got to be a stop to the “game” of dating. In relationships, there are emotions involved, even from the first date for some people, and getting hurt emotionally is not fun.

Similarly, Gallantly, Gal writes, “Women can also speak up and say, “No, not interested,” then it’s the men’s responsibility to respect that boundary. The biggest problem with the abuse of power is that the men just don’t get the phrase “NO.” NO MEANS NO. I think another problem is using “no” as a sexy thing, like in Fifty Shades for example.”

Oh goodness don’t even get me started on Fifty Shades. It’s being touted as a romance? In reality, it’s Gray channeling anger onto other women from the abuse he faced from his mother. I can’t believe this is a film franchise (3 of them!) that is showing on screens in homes and theaters on International Women’s Day.

Speak up and we'll listen at the blog
Advancing conversations about women – let’s do this! Photo via Pexels (CC0).

Let’s Continue Discussing Women’s Issues

As I’ve said, these are just some of the well-written comments left on the original post about #MeToo and dating. Feel free to revisit the original post (link at the start of this blog post) to see them all. Also, if you feel I have not expressed your comment well in this post please let me know and I will change it (either by commenting below or reaching me through the form in my About page).

Thank you to all who regularly comment on this blog and who participate in the discussions on gender issues and more. You’re the main reason this blog continues and motivate me to keep publishing here.

Now go out there and make the most of International Women’s Day!

♥Christy

 

 

 

34 COMMENTS

  1. I am glad Christy that people are very active on your blog, because really you have a wonderful site. I don’t have that habit to read comments below posts, but I will do that in the future,because I can find there a lot of great things 🙂

  2. One way to combat issues like this is to keep talking about them – thank you doing that! Happy International Women’s Day (for the day and every day)!

  3. OMG, thanks for the shoutout! Its great to have the opinions of both Men and Women. This movement has taken on more of a confusion in what specifics it is about. We can all agree sexual abuse, assault, and harassment are completely wrong. Yet, I agree with the issues of “Fifty Shades of Grey”. How can they even think to play it for Womens Day? Wow! Its interesting how the #MeToo movement said nothing against it. We have to be careful not to give ignorance a voice over allegations which are untrue and to give those who need to be heard the stage. I do believe we need to open the stage to receive male inputs on the matter and how it affects them. Because as someone mentioned, saying “No” in a sexual, suggestive way isn’t the same as “No” shouting no when you mean no. We need to be clear by not only saying “No”, but follow with “Stop” and getting up to walk away. And the levels of sexual allegations when it comes to physical contact (either accidental or purposeful).

  4. Yes men are harassed too, and that is in no way okay or appropriate. However, that has not had a fraction of the impact on countless lives as what women have gone through for centuries, and continue to endure. It has not derailed as many careers (if any).
    Thanks for the Me Too follow-up, Christy. Clearly it is still needed.
    The bus driver last year who told me where he wanted to put his penis.
    Just a couple of weeks ago an executive who offered a “big sloppy kiss.” An insignificant thing compared to truly horrific things I’ve experienced, but an example that it is still going on, from people who should know better.
    Wishing you a beautiful new week. Hugs.

    • Those two suggestive comments you spoke of Teagan are not welcomed and I hope that one day women will get the respect we deserve. As you say, women are the majority of those harassed, but I still wanted to speak to the men who receive this terrible treatment too. Thank you for your great comments, on this post and others, which continue to advance the movement toward gender equality. Hugs.

  5. Thank you for sharing the original post, and then also including feedback from readers. This is a very charged issue, and I don’t think anyone could harm from having some respectful, well-thought out discussion.
    Whether we’re women who fear being harassed on a daily basis, or whether we’re men, who have the best intentions and want to make sure we respect our fellow humans: this issue touches us all.
    I think one thing that gets lost in discussions about gender equality is that even if we have differing opinions or perspectives, we all just want to make the world a better place. I love that you allow for thorough, in-depth discussion and airing of opinions on your blog. It allows us all to see things from a new lens, so we can continue to grow.

    • Hi Kelsey. Your comment tells me that the format of this blog is effective and motivates me to keep going – so thank you for it! You bring up a valid point about intentions being good in most cases and let’s see that number grow 🙂 Have a great day!

  6. As this movement has grown, I have been horrified to discover just how many women have been sexually assaulted. Many of whom I know personally. Just sad. But, this thing has real momentum, and I’d say it’s about time.

    • Yes, the movement has brought many voices to the table that previously were fearful of speaking up or not able to do so. The empowering nature of all of this is a positive! Your comment here is appreciated.

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