Recently I shared thoughts on how the #MeToo movement is impacting the dating scene and your comments were very insightful. As usual, you brought intelligent conversations to the table. This is one of the best parts of this blog to me: advancing the issues! As today is International Women’s Day 2018, I thought it would be good timing to share some of the comments. You spoke and I listened about where you think the #MeToo movement is heading, what it means, and how it impacts dating in 2018. Here are a few of your comments (see link above to read each and every one left on the original post):
Men Face Sexual Harassment Too
Colline reminds us that “there are men, too, who are being harassed by women – but we do not hear about this.” Exactly!
It’s true that most people think first about women as the ones being harassed by men in the workplace. But men face it too. As per the U.S. Equal Employment Opportunity Commission, 16.5 percent of charges alleging sexual harassment were filed by males. So, while the amount is fewer than women, it’s still happening. On a related note, this blog is NOT anti-male – let’s just make that clear.
Follow Your Instincts
Tiffany’s comment left on the #MeToo movement blog post is also one that deserves mention. She writes, “Honestly, I say don’t ever go to a mans house if you feel uncomfortable.” She adds that it’s ideal to have cash available and a car service if you have to go home, such as Uber.
I have learned to listen to my gut more and thus avoid undesirable situations where once I would have ignored my instincts. This is not to say a woman is ever deserving of harassment or any other undesirable behavior but instead as a way to prevent any issue from even happening to begin with.
Is #MeToo about Sexual Harassment or Sexual Abuse?
Loretta explains that for her, “the #MeToo movement was about sexual ABUSE not about harassment, and abusing power.” She comments that the lines between abuse and harassment have become blurred and lumped together in this movement.
After reading Loretta’s comment, I did some Google searches on #MeToo and found that indeed articles about the movement pertaining to both harassment and abuse came up in the search results. This tells me that Loretta has brought to light an important and unfortunate point. Sexual abuse is VERY different than sexual harassment. While I don’t wish either of them on anyone, I have been abused and won’t mix them up. In the future, I plan to write more about sexual abuse vs. harassment as it seems it’s not a clear distinction in everyone’s minds (which surprises and horrifies me, to be honest).
RawMultimedia also talks about blurred lines and the confusion of the #MeToo movement. As he adds, “when has anything in the world been crystally clear…” And he also brings up the point that this is another movement for people to hear and learn about, which can make some individuals feel out of touch.
Speaking Clearly and Honestly When Dating
“Honesty and clarity of intention are necessary,” writes John. He explains that if a guy misses a woman’s signals that she’s not interested in him, then she ought to instead say clearly that she doesn’t think they are a good fit.
Well put, John. Then there’s not ambiguity. As he also writes, there’s got to be a stop to the “game” of dating. In relationships, there are emotions involved, even from the first date for some people, and getting hurt emotionally is not fun.
Similarly, Gallantly, Gal writes, “Women can also speak up and say, “No, not interested,” then it’s the men’s responsibility to respect that boundary. The biggest problem with the abuse of power is that the men just don’t get the phrase “NO.” NO MEANS NO. I think another problem is using “no” as a sexy thing, like in Fifty Shades for example.”
Oh goodness don’t even get me started on Fifty Shades. It’s being touted as a romance? In reality, it’s Gray channeling anger onto other women from the abuse he faced from his mother. I can’t believe this is a film franchise (3 of them!) that is showing on screens in homes and theaters on International Women’s Day.
Let’s Continue Discussing Women’s Issues
As I’ve said, these are just some of the well-written comments left on the original post about #MeToo and dating. Feel free to revisit the original post (link at the start of this blog post) to see them all. Also, if you feel I have not expressed your comment well in this post please let me know and I will change it (either by commenting below or reaching me through the form in my About page).
Thank you to all who regularly comment on this blog and who participate in the discussions on gender issues and more. You’re the main reason this blog continues and motivate me to keep publishing here.
Now go out there and make the most of International Women’s Day!