For anyone that has seen a loved one battle with alcoholism, they will tell you – without hesitation – it was the worst time of their life. It doesn’t matter what else they have been through. There are just so many layers of pain, none of which you can quite comprehend. The frustration of banging your head on the wall. The hurt of seeing the shell of a person you love, knowing that it isn’t them inside. The pain of not knowing who will greet you when you wake up tomorrow. And the devastating realization that there’s nothing you can do; you have exhausted every option, spend every ounce of energy and come up short. That is a horrendous feeling.
Unfortunately, you can’t grab them by the shoulders and shake their demons out. You can’t force them to stare at their dark mist in the eyes or have them admit they need help. That has to be a personal decision. They have to reach a point where they want to change.
This doesn’t mean you have to just sit by and spectate as life pulls them apart from the inside out. There are ways you can help the alcoholic you love, and that is exactly what this post can help you with.
Understanding what this disease is, and what it is doing to your loved one, is one of the hardest tasks you can undertake. But it is so important that you arm yourself with as much sympathy and knowledge as you can. Learning why alcoholics can’t stop drinking is the only way you’ll be able to stop hitting your head against that concrete wall.
Knowing How to Talk
Treading on eggshells is part of the battle and learning how to communicate with them is a delicate learning curve. You need to stay calm while being honest, showing that you are doing this out of love and care and nothing more. You need to show that you want to support them without them thinking you are forcing their hand. That’s the balance you need to strike.
Know Your Options
They have a problem, which is drinking, and that means you need to help them find a solution. But by doing the research you are showing that you care and that you understand, and this could well break down their walls. They want help. All alcoholics want help at some point. So help them understand their options. If you think rehab is the only legitimate option then click here. Otherwise, it is worth looking into detox options, outpatient treatments, counseling and support groups or even looking into holistic methods. The clear you can explain these, the more your loved ones will know where they want to go for help.
Not the Time for Talk
One of the most damaging things you can do is try and talk to your loved one while they are under the influence. They are drinking because they are at their most vulnerable and most troubled. Instead, try and speak to them when they are sober, which is usually in the morning. As for encouraging them to open up to you, and to have them listen to what you have to say, we recommend you approach them in a place you believe to be private and, if possible, tranquil. Life is all about timing, and this circumstance is no different.