D.G. Kaye is well-known as a nonfiction writer and memoir author, with several books to her name, including Meno-What? and Words We Carry. Now, she is taking on a new project. D.G. Kaye launches the podcast Grief – The Real Talk. I reached out to this talented woman to talk about the podcast, which has aired two episodes already. Below is our interview. Read on to discover why she created it, what she hopes listeners will gain, and more.
Interview with D.G. Kaye
Christy: Hi ((waves))! Thank you for being here. Let’s talk about why your newest project, the Grief The Real Talk podcast.
D.G.: Hi Christy. Thank you so much for inviting me over today to your empowering blog. I’m thrilled to be here. ❣
Can you please tell us why you started a podcast on this particular topic?
Thanks for asking Christy. After losing the love of my life, my husband, last year, my grief has been overwhelming – many days, I didn’t even care to go on.
I not only lost my husband, my best friend and soulmate, but it was during COVID lockdowns, which added to my trauma with all the seclusion at a very bad time for a griever to be on her own. With no live grief groups open to join, other than online groups, which were not doing it for me, and after reading a plethora of books on grief and everything related to the afterlife, I couldn’t find a place where I felt I belonged.
I’d also read many clinical books as well as self-help and memoirs from people going through the same journey sharing their grief stories. It was the stories told from the heart which I found some solace in.
I realized that there wasn’t enough ‘real talk’ going on with people who live this journey, and I felt that being around same people left me feeling with a sort of kinship – people who could understand and relate to what we grievers actually go through – a look behind the lens so to speak.
So as a memoir writer myself, I felt there was a vacant space for this topic, and so I wanted to open up a new space where I could speak raw and real and share my observations and incidents that I’ve endured and endure in my own new life of living as one from two, and that perhaps there are others who may feel they can feel this kinship and have a place to share their own thoughts and feelings.
I am so sorry for your loss. What is your hope that listeners will gain from this podcast?
I hope my listeners will feel a sense of comfort as I did from reading and hearing stories from others by my sharing my own observations and experiences in my grief journey and what feels like everything becoming new to us when we lose a loved one that we were closely connected to. Everything changes.
Our identities change, our life plans, our habits, even the people that were once in our lives seem to change. I feel there’s a need for a place for us grievers to commune.
Who is Grief – The Real Talk the right podcast for?
My podcast is for people who travel the journey of grief, seeking some solace to be around like-minded people who know the journey, as well as for anyone who knows a griever and would like some insights as to what we go through on a daily basis when we lose someone close to us. I’m speaking as one of those grievers, not someone with a PHD giving clinical explanations about all the lonely things we can expect to go through, from the voice of one who is going through it and knows the pain.
It’s for anyone who has loved and lost someone and desires a place of listening to someone who knows the struggle. It’s a place where I talk about things that bring us down, things we find hard to accept, and those times when we feel we can’t go on, but also, I talk about why we must go on and share some of the things that I’m doing to try to help move forward – especially when we sometimes have no desire to.
Is it a weekly podcast, D.G. Kaye?
I have it set up to post two episodes a month for now. Last week I put up my second podcast on Soundcloud, Spotify and Youtube.
I plan on gauging the audience and feedback to see where I may need to make alterations. So right now, I’m experimenting as I receive the feedback. If it goes well, I am considering going live on video instead of just the audio podcast.
For those who haven’t listened in yet, how long is each episode?
My first episode was just under eight minutes. At present, I don’t wish to go over ten minutes for two reasons. One, everybody is so busy and don’t often have time for anything longer – abundance of digital content everywhere.
Second, because this is a new venture, the platform I use to convert my audio for Youtube only offers up to ten-minute podcasts on their basic service. Anything longer, there are monthly fees. I need to test out the response for a few sessions before I expand.
Your podcast encourages conversations about grief. How does talking about grief help the healing process?
I truly hope to stimulate some conversation from listeners. I am speaking for myself now when I say that grievers need a place to vent around like-minded people who understand what we go through.
I know that hollowness grief leaves and I expect that many grievers feel the same. We need a place where we can listen to others who’ve walked the walk, as we grievers can relate to the feedback and digest and relate to their own feelings and situations. Grievers need hugs and ears.
Surprisingly, we don’t need anyone’s great ideas of distraction or awkward condolences. We need to be able to talk about our lost loved one and commune with others in similar situations.
What can we expect in future episodes of Grief – The Real Talk?
In my second podcast that recently went live, I’m talking about how grief can affect our health, our self-esteem, and triggers that can send us spiraling back into the depths of grief.
In future episodes, I’ll be touching on some of the many aspects about how our changed lives are affected by various events and situations that crop up in our everyday living. I’ll be talking about everything from things that may trigger us, to people in our lives and how they respond – or not, to us, to simple daily things that we often take for granted and how I must face them alone.
I always try to offer up and share ideas that have helped me get through my own darker moments. I may speak about my feelings on certain situations that have cropped up, how I tackled them, relationships with others in my circles, how they’ve changed since I became a widow, and moments in general that are sporadically triggered by grief.
Sharing your experiences so openly will help many people. Is there anything else you want to add?
As a memoir writer who observes and writes about life and relationships, I felt it important to document my journey through grief, from the journey of taking care of my husband and watching him die daily before my eyes to the aftermath, I learned well what it feels like to be a griever, how the people around me respond – and don’t, and what every day after in my new solo life can bring with the dips of grief and the dark side.
Grief is hard enough to endure, especially when – the more we loved, the more we will grieve. I know that losing my husband had sent me in search of some comfort from books, groups and videos for some kinship and solace and I didn’t always get what I was looking for. My hope is that my words may be of solace to others.
How to subscribe to D.G. Kaye’s podcast
You can subscribe to Grief – The Real Talk on SoundCloud, Spotify, or YouTube today.
I love that she makes it available on each of these platforms so that you can easily use the one you’re familiar with already. I subscribed already on YouTube.
Where else to find her online
Also, connect with D.G. Kaye at her blog DGKayewriter.com. She is on social media too at Twitter. Facebook, and LinkedIn.
Her books are all available on Amazon.
Thank you for being here today, D.G. Kaye
You are so brave to share your story without hesitation to help others. Grief can be so awkward to talk about, and you overcome that challenge by speaking up about your experiences. Your candidness is refreshing and will no doubt help many who listen to Grief – The Real Talk.
When you say in the interview that you noticed a lack of resources on certain topics, you went and created the podcast. That speaks highly of your desire to fill that gap to help others, as well as your go-getter attitude. Even in grief, you show strength.
Check out D.G. Kaye’s newest podcast episode on YouTube here.
Thanks for the wonderful interview, with one of my virtual mentors, Christy! Debby is so inspiring and also helpful in discussing very important topics of live. Best wishes, Michael
Thank you so much Michael for your most humbling comment. <3
Debby is fantastic xx Have a nice weekend, Michael!
Wonderful interview, Christy and Deb. It’s heartening to see such an important topic extended to a wider audience ❤️❤️
Thank you so much Tina. I do hope to gain new viewers who can relate. <3
xxoo Lovely to see you, Tina. Debby = amazing!
A fantastic interview, Christy – Debby has such a tremendous amount of insight and inspiration to offer, her series so far has been wonderful. Toni x
Thank you so very much Toni xx
Debby truly is inspirational, Toni. Thank you for being here and sharing the interview too
I’m listening to the episodes on YouTube now, Debby. I agree with you in that grieving mirrors PTSD symptoms. Thank you for being brave enough to share these raw truths. Hugs!
Thanks so much Jan. I’m sure you know well about triggers. <3
Hi Jan, wonderful that you are checking out the episodes now. Thanks for sharing on social media too. Debby and I appreciate your help with getting more ears on the podcast.
I’m a big fan of both Debby (for her honesty and ability to talk about meaningful issues such as grief in a way that many are unable to) and Christy (for her commitment to help and empower women.)
One big takeaway for me was going through a loss during the period of COVID, when people were keeping more to themselves when grievers needed more opportunities to connect with others going through similar things.
Thanks so much for the kudos Pete. Yes, Covid was painful enough for all of us, but nothing compares to losing our loved one (or a pet in your case), in that time of loneliness, when we so badly need some human interaction. :)
I’m sorry for your recent loss, Pete. You’re right that the pandemic only amplified the silence when conversations were much needed. I thank you for the kind words here ~ So appreciated. I’m with you on commending Debby for her honesty.
Wonderful interview Christy with Debby, Debby is a remarkable lady who is now helping others come to terms with grief as Debby navigates her own way through with the use of teaching herself a new skill of podcasting her journey..
Thank you for sharing and I hope also Christy you too are well..
Much love to you both..
Sue <3
Thank you so much for your kind words of encouragement Sue, and for hopping over here <3 xx
My privilege. <3
Oh Sue, you are right when you say she is “remarkable.” xxoo Hugs
😊 you both are in what you have both achieved and overcome. 🙏💕
OH Sue xxoo And your kind spirit shines through as always in what you give to the community
Thank you x
Excellent and interesting interview. Debby has lived and is still living the grief experience, and so these podcasts from one who has been there can give much help to others just starting out on their grief journeys.
Thanks so much Stevie. That’s my hope to help to help others through trying to help myself <3
Debby speaks openly and honestly about her experiences to help others. So commendable. Thanks, Stevie, for appreciating her efforts.
Definitely clicking through. I am basically happy, but that can change on a dime. Great idea for a podcast, Debby.
Thanks so much Jacqui, and for hopping over here too <3
Debby’s podcast is well worth the click through, Jacqui. I like that she offers it on many different platforms, including YouTube
Great interview, Debby and Christy. I love Debby’s podcasts and think so many people will find them helpful. Thanks for sharing! Hugs 💕🙂
Thanks so much for the kudos Harmony. Number 3 will be out this week. <3 xx
Nice to “meet” you, Harmony! Debby is amazing. That’s wonderful that you’ve found her podcasts xx
I love how Debby puts herself out there and shares her story and her feelings so honestly. What a beautiful and heartfelt gift to other people who are grieving. It’s unbelievably helpful to know that the horribly desperate and lonely feelings are part of the process of deep loss, that they’re “normal” (a terrible word for such a soul-wrenching experience), and that there’s a way forward. Debby’s podcasts are moving, calming, and wonderfully professional. Thanks for featuring her here, Christy.
Diana, thank you so much for your kind comments. You can see exactly what I’m trying to do with this – share my own grief, letting others know they are not alone, and a few things I do to help me through the bad days. Hugs <3 xx
I think ten minutes is perfect too, Debby. Small doses are comforting without becoming overwhelming. You got this!
Thanks my friend. Episode 3 will be out later this week. <3 xx
<3
Diana, you are right that Debby’s sharing of her experience is a true gift. And thank you for supporting her here xx
My pleasure. :-D
I’ve been a follower of Debby’s posts for a while now, and I know that she never accepts the status quo. If something is not right, she tries to change it, and if she can’t find an answer to something and knows others are in the same position, she shares her findings with others. I am sure this will be a very useful and comforting resort to many, and most of us will, at one moment or another, need it. Thanks for sharing this initiative, Christy.
Olga, thank you so much for your lovely comment. It seems you know me well! No, I don’t just take anything without trying to find a solution. There is no solution for grief, and those of us living it are drawn to others to learn what helps them get through the bad days. I hope I can help in some way by sharing my journey, while trying to trudge through my own journey. <3
Olga, you described Debby well as someone who seeks change when she notices something is not right. It is definitely something I respect a lot about her. Thank you for supporting Debby and for such a great comment.
Well done Debby what a caring and thoughtful idea to help others going through similar grief. Lovely blog Christy. x
xxoo
Thanks so much Marje xx
Thank you so much Marje. <3 xx
Pleasure Debby xxx
You are turning the horror of your great loss into hugs for the grief-stricken. I admire your persevering through this ordeal and giving to others. You can speak with great authority because you have been there.
I think you are smart to limit the podcast to 10 minutes and only every other week. You definitely understand your audience. By the way, I want to catch your podcasts another time and will give you feedback. Kudos to you, Debby, for this great venture. :-D
Marian, you’re right about the short episodes making sense. So happy to see you here to support our beloved Debby.
Hi Marian. Thank you so much for your encouragement. Yes, I decided to try this out because most of all – I have been there and am still living it daily. Hugs xx
I’ve listened to both podcasts. Thy are excellent. I’m not a widow, but when my mom passed, I had a handsome helping of that grief, its emptiness.
We grieve over many different kinds of losses. Losing a life partner must be the hardest.
Congratulations Debby! I like the 10 minutes or less idea!
Thank you to both of you, Christy and Debby for this interview.
I subscribed to Debby’s Youtube channel! xxx
Hi Resa. Thanks so much for listening and your feedback. I appreciate your listening. :) I hope many more listen, even if it’s to help understand losses of their own loved ones. And thanks for subscribing. Hugs xox
xox!!!
<3
Hugs! xxoo
Thank you, Resa, for supporting Debby. I’m sorry to hear of your grief ~ Your words speak to a guiding light that the podcast can be to those who are looking for comfort while working through so many intense emotions. Hugs
Hugs
Debby will do well with her podcast!
xxoo
Hi Christy. Thanks so much again for your lovely invitation to be featured here today. Sorry I got here late and just shared around. I will pop back in intermittently to check comments. Hugs xoxo
No need to apologize, Debby. Happy to have you here xxoo
Thrilled to be here Christy. <3
Excellent interview thanks Christy and Debby and I can recommend Debby’s podcast for its clarity and relateable exploration of grief. ♥
Hi Sal. Thank you so much for coming to visit and for your lovely recommendation. <3 xx
My pleasure ♥
<3
Hi Sally, thanks for coming here to support Debby. I like that they are short episodes and, as you say, they are relatable. xx