Everyone goes through challenges in their life that can profoundly affect their psychological and physical health. It could be a friend’s death, job loss, a physical attack, or a serious accident. Most of the time, these events happen out of the blue. While you can’t always prevent bad things from happening, you can take steps to get back on track afterward. These tips for how to move forward after a life-changing event intend to help you regain feelings of control, confidence, and hope.
Don’t put any expectations on yourself
How you deal with a life-changing event is personal to you. There’s no right or wrong or timetable that you need to adhere to in these cases.
Don’t pressure yourself to feel better any faster than you think is right. Recovery, both mentally and physically, is rarely a straight line. You can experience setbacks at any time.
Control what you can to move forward
Often, the feeling that we don’t control our own lives and what happens to us can cause a lot of mental anguish. Feeling helpless is common in these types of situations.
So, instead of focusing on what you can’t control, concentrate on what you can. For example, if you have been mugged, self or knife defense classes could give you a feeling of confidence back.
Or if you had changed your name after marriage you can always change your name back with the help of EZ Name Change. Small actions like these can mean a lot after a life-changing event.
Talk to someone
Sometimes talking to someone can be very therapeutic. It doesn’t necessarily have to be a therapist, but if you’re really struggling, a professional can help.
Even just saying what’s on your mind out loud to a loved one, colleague, or even your hairdresser can give you a great sense of release. Look around for support groups who have experience with what you’re going through too. It might help to be with others who are going through similar experiences.
Don’t pretend to be fine
How many times have you muttered “fine” when someone asks you how you are doing? Pretending you’re OK after a mastectomy or another life-changing event can be exhausting.
It can also lead to feelings of anger and resentment. Putting on a brave face or sweeping everything under the psychological carpet is only storing up trouble for later.
Rely on your support network
People like to help other people out. Social media may make the world seem like an awful place, full of judgemental types, but that isn’t the reality. Your friends, family, and colleagues all want the best for you, but they may not know the best way to help you.
Some people show their concern and try too hard, making you feel claustrophobic and pressured. Others might be a bit standoffish, thinking that you might want space and talk to others in your own time.
The truth is, no one is a mind reader. So, you’re going to have to give some indication of how you’d like them to treat you, and this might change from one day to the next.
Key takeaways on how to move forward
Life-changing events are just that, life-changing. Rarely do people come through them completely unscathed.
It’s how you deal with them that has an effect on the rest of your life. By taking the time to recover in a way that feels right to you and getting help if you need it, you can take steps to get back on track in life.
Such a beautiful and timely post, Christy! ♥ So many people are hurting, afraid, and alone in this world without much hope. My prayer is that everyone would know they’re not alone and reach out for help. Your steps here are the perfect example and can help bring people back from that block hole of isolation.
I love what you said about not putting pressure on ourselves. This is so important! Too often, “steps to grief,” and other approaches like it fail to acknowledge our individuality. I may need more verbal reassurance and someone else may be annoyed by it. We must be kind to ourselves as we go through the process of healing. Having people in our lives, just like you mentioned, that ‘get us’ without judgment is critical to our well-being. That release you mentioned is very healing.
Another big amen to not pretending to be fine when we aren’t. Science has proven that this creates a dissonance within us which leads to much more pain and suffering. It’s okay to not be okay. We don’t have to tell everyone everything but we do need to be honest with ourselves and those we love and trust.
BIG hugs coming your way. Thank you for being such a ray of light! You are loved! ♥
Dear Holly, how lovely to see you ♥ I hope you are doing okay during this tough time in the world and in our hearts. It’s a period unlike any other and so this post is one that I’m so thankful is resonating in you as I want you to know how much you inspire me. Your soul shines bright and I’m blessed to be in its light as you come here to visit x
Very nice post and apt for these times , love the quote on the featured image to focus on what we can and not something we have no control over. Pretending to be fine can cause resentment and its best to seek help .
Pretending is not a long-term solution, that’s for sure. Thanks Nisha xx
You’re so right, I think we are all guilty of telling people we are fine when we’re not. We use it way too often but rather than being honest with others and even ourselves we use ‘i’m fine’ as an emotional barrier and you’re right- It’s exhausting! They are some real key takeaways from this and as you say it’s about how we deal with our life changes that matters the most- sound advice!
You’re right that wearing a mask over our true feelings is exhausting! And it helps no one. Thanks for appreciating the messages here, that’s very motivating for me!
Great advice and timely <3
Sending much love, Debby, much love ♥
I so appreciate it and you sweet girl <3
xxoo
<3
I believe more of us are going through these times with feelings of uncertainty and helplessness, Christy. Great advice and always OK to ask for help.
YES, asking for help is a good thing, not a weakness ♥ Thanks Terri
Hi Christy, this is a good advice.
Thanks for being here and always showing support, Robbie.