This guest post from Andrea Waltz takes a different look at the word ‘no.’ Rather than writing about how to say no, a topic many women struggle with, Andrea offers us tips on how to have the courage to ask, even if you might get a ‘no’ in return. And this is absolutely a topic we want to explore. It’s no wonder she’s a popular keynote speaker. Now let’s give Andrea the floor.
People often talk about the need to say, no. And saying this two-letter word is important to keep some sanity in our life.
But, what about hearing no? Do you avoid rejection? Does the idea of being told nope cause the butterflies in your stomach to start fluttering?
Being rejected is tied to many emotions: feeling like a failure, feeling embarrassed, unworthy – in other words taking the nope personally. And because of this, we rarely ask for what we want. It could be as small as asking for a different table in a restaurant. In a business setting, it’s asking someone to take a look at our product, service or offering and then asking for the sale.
Kids do not have this issue. The little boy asking his mom for a cookie will not be deterred. No matter how many times he might be told nope, he will persist. He does not say, “oh darn, looks like I’m not getting a cookie.” Instead he thinks, “I need to change things up, be a little more creative to get the cookie today.”
Somewhere along the line our natural sense of tenacity is drummed out of us. And if you are pursuing any kind of goal or dream you better get that tenacity back.
How? Practice asking. Author of Chicken Soup for the Soul, Jack Canfield says: “The problem is most people are afraid to ask. They’re afraid they’re going to get a “No,” so they don’t. I always say, “You don’t know you’re going to get a ‘No’ until you ask, and if you don’t ask, you’ve given yourself the ‘No.’”
How do you deal with the fear? Remember, you had that child-like persistence once. If you did it once, you can do it again! And all the courage you need is inside you. That may come across like a cliché but it’s true. Courage is a muscle. And, like any muscle, it must be exercised to be developed and strengthened. Each time you ask for what you want and face a nope, the courage muscle gets stronger. When you don’t, it gets weaker.
So, start asking. Be willing to get a nope, nada, nuh uh. Build your courage muscle. And when you do that, the yeses are out there for you!
Andrea Waltz is a professional speaker and the co-author of ‘Go for No!’ a short powerful book written for people who want to learn how to overcome their fears of failure and rejection and harness the power of ‘no’ to be successful. To learn more, visit http://www.goforno.com.
Encouraging post, It made me realize my own fear of the word NO.
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