Today I am proud to showcase memoir writer D.G. Kaye, who discusses the use of memoir writing as a vehicle for healing the self. I will give her the floor here as her guest post below such a high-quality one! Take it away, D.G.
I was delighted when you opened up this blog because the issues you present here are all so relatable to other women; a place where we can come and read inspiring stories about women who have accomplished so much in various aspects of life.
I personally enjoy reading stories of people’s personal victories, of overcoming adversity, and growing from unhealthy situations. I am happy to see that in this time of the world, more and more women are recognizing, confronting and speaking out about injustices they have endured.
I’m a memoir writer. My first book Conflicted Hearts is a collaboration of years of journaling memories. My struggles stemmed from growing up as an emotionally neglected child with a narcissistic mother, learning to find my place in the world, while striving to deal with the emotional baggage that followed me.
Unfortunately, abuse is a common issue that too many women endure. We don’t have to have been raped or beaten to have suffered abuse. Abuse lives under the guise of many forms. Emotional neglect is a common form of abuse. Sadly, many women have lived with abuse for so long that they may not be able to recognize that they are being abused because it becomes so familiar. Others may recognize it and fear running away from it because of a myriad of reasons such as being financially dependent on the abuser or perhaps even having a fear of what lies ahead for them if they attempt to leave.
Verbal and emotional abuse is a common practice many women suffer and endure at some point in their lives. The residual damages are devastating to our psyches and self-esteem, and have the propensity to stay with us our whole lives. Low self-esteem cripples our ability to function properly. We tend to develop inferiority complexes, anxieties, and feelings of inadequacy down the road. Our inner damage also plays a part in how we choose our relationships and influences us with the choices of people we allow into our lives.
I’m a nonfiction memoir writer. I wrote three books on different topics: Conflicted Hearts – mother guilt and finding my place in life, Meno-What? – overcoming the dragons of menopause, and Words We Carry – how our self-esteems are molded from the things that happen to us when we are young. If you read all three of my books, you would find a common thread. Although my books are all on different subjects, you can detect my insecurities within them which I’ve battled most of my life.
In my newest book, Words We Carry, I dissected my own insecurities and delved into my past, seeking what had prompted my own low self-esteem. Childhood teasing and ridicule have a great impact on how we begin to see ourselves, and aid in the choices we make in life such as our appearance and the relationships we tend to gravitate to.
In my books, I talk about all of these issues by exposing my own situations I encountered and sharing the methods I used to triumph over my own shortcomings, hoping to leave positive messages for those readers who struggle with their own identity issues.
Talking to others about our insecurities empowers and inspires us to help ourselves. It helps to know we are not alone with our inner struggles. By learning about positive outcomes from others, it reinforces our beliefs that there is always hope for us to triumph over our self-doubts. It’s all about women helping women.
Realizing our own self-worth can be difficult for many who have been taunted and ridiculed in their younger lives because those words are instilled in us. In order to rise above self-criticizing, we need to weed out the negative forces in our lives and learn to get to know and love our unique selves.
Below are some quotes of kindness and inspiration:
“Failures are finger posts on the road to achievement.” C.S. Lewis
“There is no education like adversity.” Benjamin Disraeli
“Always be kind, for everyone is fighting a hard battle.” Plato
“For every kindness, there should be kindness in return. Wouldn’t that just make the world right?” D.G. Kaye
Words We Carry is now available in paperback.
You can also check out her author page.
Top photo: Meet D.G. Kaye, memoir writer. Photo courtesy of D.G. Kaye