Adjusting to retirement isn’t easy for a lot of people. A big reason for it is that now it’s time to accept help after decades of wanting to be independent.
The aging conundrum
There is one big flaw when it comes to aging. That is, everyone wants the independence that accompanies getting older, which means no one is willing to accept help when experiencing natural physical and mental declines over time.
Furthermore, you go through life as independent as can be but within the confines of a career and other commitments. Those things take time and energy.
It’s for this reason that you look forward to being free of the job world later in life. That’s right, you likely can’t wait to be able to kick back and enjoy some of the finer things in life.
The thing is, by the time you reach retirement, you’re older and more infirm, making adjusting difficult! So, you likely need a little assistance, and that can be a hard pill to swallow.
The good news is that you can hire family with CDPAP to care for you. Getting help from those who have your best interests in mind makes sense.
But you might still find it difficult to accept a helping hand from those around you. You can believe that you are athletic and independent, but aging can often mean that you cannot move around as well as before.
The reality is that you can’t flip a switch into acceptance. But you can keep a few things in mind to make receiving that help a bit easier.
Adjusting and accepting help in retirement is easier when:
1. You know your limits
The idea of retirement is exciting, but it can also be terrifying to realize one’s own mortality. If you know what your limits are, accept the help you need without too much argument. So many women and men put off aging as long as they can but it can lead to denial, especially as decline (mental and physical) sets in.
Instead, you can age gracefully by knowing your limits. When you struggle with things physically, learn the areas where you will need help and invest wisely in support.
Something as simple as a shower seat is going to be life-changing for someone who requires physical support. If you can’t do something anymore, don’t push it!
2. You lean on others
Whether you are leaning on adult children or put your trust in a caring company, you get to have a say in how you live out the golden years. That’s true, even if it doesn’t feel like it sometimes.
While you still have your wits about you, create a document with a lawyer to determine what you want so that you have control over the remaining years. Knowing that you have carers who will be happy to support you is reassuring on so many levels. That peace of mind makes adjusting to retirement a bit easier.
3. You ask family
Families are often the first place that you turn to in a crisis and they know you well enough to provide the right support when you need it. The ego is one of the biggest enemies you have, though, and it doesn’t always feel comfortable to ask family for assistance.
However, while they have their own lives, it can help to ask for help – even if they point you elsewhere. All you often need is an ear to help you to decide what to do and where to find the best remedy.
You can also rely on your family not to leave you to your own devices. They will always want to see that you have the needed support.
When adjusting to retirement is difficult
What are some other ways to make the transition to retirement and asking for help easier? Do you have problems accepting assistance from others?
9 thoughts on “Adjusting to retirement: It’s time to accept help”
The most difficult thing is when we worry about living alone away from family love. Envisioning being banished to a nursing home. That is the culture in the modern age.
I hope the future will bring much more help by modern devices. At least here you can not trust into officials. The actual pandemic situations is show this so clear. Thank you for remembering, Christy! Best wishes, Michael
We have come so far, but have a long ways to still go! Your comment has me thinking now, Michael. All the best to you too!
With people living longer, healthier lives, most people will enjoy at least a few good years before physical and cognitive decline put them in a position where they need help. Typically retirement has three stages: the early years when you’re busy, active and physically well; the middle years where you slow down a bit but are still independent; and the later years where you will likely need more help.
A successful retirement is all about having a plan that addresses all three stages. The most difficult part of the transition to retirement for many people is figuring out what to do with their time when they’re newly-retired. Staying busy and active can delay the onset of physical and cognitive decline but it’s surprising how many people don’t give that any thought before they retire. 25-30 years is a LONG time to sit around and do thing.
Hi Michelle, I was just saying to another reader that I want to research retirement as much as I can before reaching it so that I know what to expect fully and have the tools in place. Thanks for explaining so well the stages of retirement. Your time here is appreciated! Take care
It is a very scary part of reality.
I’m going to do as much research on retirement as possible beforehand to make sure I’m prepared!
You should. I’m closer than you are, and the virus has been an unexpected damper. I wanted to be semi-retired from film in a year. Now, I’m not sure, and looking at ideas to fully retire, so I can have an art show.
To me, I’m looking at the whole thing, not so much as retiring, but moving on to the next phase of my life. Either way, if I wanted to travel, have art shows or whatever, it will still take money to enjoy the next phase the way I would like to.
Oh I love the idea of your art shows. I’m wishing you all the best ALWAYS