Are you on the brink of divorce? If so, there is still a possibility that sitting down together as a couple for a few sessions with a wise third-party marriage counselor can help restore your relationship. It might make sense. There could still be opportunities to patch up issues with your spouse, especially if you choose the right marriage counselor. If you’re not sure where to find them, places like e-counseling.com/online-marriage-counseling/ are a good start. They have a comparison chart of the best online marriage counseling companies, with combined tens of thousands of trustworthy marriage counselors on their platforms.
To Go to Marriage Counseling or Not – That is the Question
Before you seek out help, make sure your marriage is reconcilable, even if it seems unlikely. If it’s not, then you’ll be wasting your time.
Many couples are going through a tough time fighting with their partners over both petty and serious issues. But they hardly know that going to a marriage counselor sooner rather than later could probably save their marriage from divorce.
So, let’s check out four reasons to go to marriage counseling:
1. Poor Communication
If you have trouble communicating with one another, there will likely be frequent arguments, and the same disputes will come up over and over again. Now is the time when conversations can turn toxic and even include name-calling. As a result, you or your partner may feel insecure, depressed, or disregarded by the other.
Another problem may be not talking at all. The absence of conversation between you will weaken the relationship, and you may feel distant from your significant other. These problems need addressing healthily, which is where marriage counseling sessions can help couples.
2. Unable to Forgive and Forget
Traumatic relationship events, such as an extra-marital affair, can have a catastrophic or an emotionally-charged impact on your marriage. Strong emotions that surface can include:
- Rejection
- Betrayal
- Despondence
- Depression
Working successfully through this type of situation requires each person to put in emotional work to repair the relationship. A way to do so is to seek the help of marriage counseling.
3. Marriage Counseling for Loss of Intimacy Issues
When problems arise between partners, intimacy can become less frequent and even disappear completely. This can become a major problem in your relationship.
Reasons for issues in the bedroom include life changes, work stress, medicines, and depression. The extent to which each one impacts a couple can vary considerably as each person is unique, as is the bond between people.
Not being physically close anymore can be frustrating for someone who still wants to touch and be touched. To start working on a solution, you must determine first the reason(s) that lead to a lack of intimacy.
It may help to start spending more time together outside of the bedroom to feel more comfortable together inside the bedroom. Seeking a hobby together could be the start of reigniting the spark between you.
4. Personal Finances
Disagreements over money are one of the most common reasons why couples fight among themselves. For example, arguments about how best to save money can occur, and tension can run high if there’s shared debt. Issues can escalate fast and become the main reason behind separation and divorce.
If any of these issues sound similar to what you and your husband are going through, it may be in your best interests to go to marriage counseling. A trained professional can help couples learn how to disagree in a healthy way (yes, that’s possible!).
But you both have to be willing to take an honest look at yourself and want to improve the relationship. A good marriage can help you two feel a bond again, without having to break the bank or your relationship.
Wish this could be shared pre-marriage for preventive marriages. Would help tremendously. 🌸🌸
True. We’re getting married in a Christian church and pre-marriage counseling is required. I think it’s a good thing!
I think wives make marriage counseling impossible to actually work. Men cannot be honest…if they are then their wife gets upset at them. It’s so weird.
What would you suggest as an alternative, Jenny? Now I’m curious ;)
I don’t think there is one😭
Ohhhhh :/
do you know of any?
I think it’s important to set aside time to talk, just the couple alone, in an honest, respectful environment. If one of the two people is always bringing up the bad then it’s important to nip that in the bud! That’s a core issue to work on, for sure.
I agree. But us gals are so defensive and are kinda difficult to ever accept that we are to be blamed for anything “bad” in a relationship.
I don’t personally think that’s always the case. I never like to paint all females with the same brush as we all come from different experiences and bring those with us into relationships. What bothers me is when people enter relationships hoping the other person will fill some missing piece. Nope, instead the best thing is to feel whole going into that new relationship.
Lovely posts by you. Always something new to read and learn
Helping people discover new things makes me happy :)
These are great tips. They coincide with many bible principles that have helped me in my marriage. There’s a website that speaks about each of these topics in more depth. It’s is full of helpful articles for families under Bible Teaching and Marriage and Family. Thanks for these reminders.
Excellent post. One of the best things we did was attend pre-marital counseling through a local pastoral counseling organization. It was workshop-style, with breakout sessions where we worked on things as a couple. One of the big things that we came away with is that men are like waffles – They have all their little boxes, and it’s hard to get their attention about something if they’re in one of their other boxes!
Very logical reason which you’ve mentioned.
Thanks
If marriage counseling will help couples sort through their difference to find a common ground, I’m all for it. I’ve seen too many sad cases where couple have divorced and their bitterness deeply impact their children. A long-term relationship is many challenges but also lots of rewards if couple can build a closer, lasting friendship.
Modern life is so stressful and fast paced, Christy. It is not surprising that so many couples have problems as there is so many external factors placing strain on families. It is almost as if the modern world has decided to dispense with family life altogether.
I think marriage counseling is essential prior to marriage. Why not get the marriage that you both want prior to actually getting married? Then your marriage is almost perfect. I say almost quite loosely, because none of us are perfect, we will have arguments, but at least we know where we stand on HUGE issues. You know, the type of issues that are put into a prenup, and the issue of children. :)
Great post!!
I would say that if this means people are putting more effort into keeping their marriages alive instead of divorcing each other as soon as there is a rough phase, then that is good…
Useful tips for those who going through a rough phase in their married life. Great post Christy