It’s not uncommon to live some distance from your parents and elderly relatives. Whether you live in a different town, city, province or even country, it can be hard to figure out how to provide them long distance care. Especially when you have other family demands and work obligations too. Often the only time that you spend with them is when you visit for extended stay on holidays and vacations, wich means you see their decline more pronounced.
It can make you feel incredibly guilty about the physical distance between you. Thankfully, there are lots of things that you can do to help them get the care and support that they need – physically and emotionally.
When people age, their physical abilities can decline. This can lead them to feel isolated from their friends and communities.
Loneliness and isolation can have just as damaging an effect on their sense of wellbeing as their physical ailments. Build connections by:
They need to keep busy with inclusive social activities that exercise their mind and body. Their local centers can provide drop-in services and activities. These things are great for helping seniors to develop a new network of friends who share their interests.
Does your relative have access to the internet? No one is too old to enjoy the internet and the connectivity that it brings. Use technology to open your loved one’s world, beyond the four walls of home. Being able to Skype friends and family is a wonderful way to interact face-to-face. You will benefit too as you can see for yourself how they are doing.
Technological innovations, such as a medical alert system, can help your relative feel confident that there is someone who will respond to them in times of need. It helps to remove the ‘what if’ scenario that you are faced with as a long distance care giver.
Just because there is a physical distance between you, does not mean that you can’t help to manage their affairs. Seniors often worry about how they are going to manage their finances, property or even making day-to-day decisions. It’s prudent to set up an Enduring Power of Attorney (EPA), which means that you can act on your relative’s behalf to pay bills, deposit and invest money.
With an EPA in place, you will be able to help them make decisions about their everyday. Now you can provide them long distance care without having to carry the financial burden yourself. Two examples of activities are online grocery shopping and changing utility providers.
Lastly, while you will worry about your elderly relative, you need to find the balance between helping them and being overbearing. So, talk to them regularly to find out about what their needs are. Make note of their needs and find solutions. That’s instead of just assuming what you suspect to be their needs.
By developing a network of support in their local community, your elderly relatives can retain a sense of independence without being overly dependent on your long distance care and support.
Well penned and expressed
Excellent information. My 90 year old mom is in Canada and I am in Spain. Skyping has been a valuable part of us staying connected. She loves being able to see me. I also have friends and family who live nearby stop in and give me reports. It has worked much better than I thought it would.
A very timley post for me. Thank you, friend.
This is such a caring and sweet post! I hope when I am older, loved ones will extend the same to me. Thanks for sharing this!
This is excellent information, Christy. My family can also relate to SO much of this given what’s happened with my dad’s parents. Thanks for sharing.
Excellent reminder of the importance of social connectedness, feeling a sense of belonging, feeling valued and of being an important part of something and having the courage to face up to all life’s challenges.
All good advice Christy, I know my brothers found it so hard as my mum came to the end of her days. Two of them are in America and one in Holland so they were a long way away.
Excellent advice. Thank you for sharing!
Great information Christy <3
These are great suggestions. We should always do whatever we can to help our aging parents. No matter the distance, we can always show love. “We should love, not in word or with the tongue, but in deed and truth” (1 John 3:18) I’ve seen this in my own family and my grandmother lived a lot longer due to the care she received by family.
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