This guest post from Rachael Pace, a writer for Marriage.com, contains several great suggestions for how to improve your sex life in marriage. Read on for tips that are tastefully explained and can help strengthen the bond between you and your partner.
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Your sex life may be great, but there is always room for improvement. That’s why we’re looking at sex tips for improving intimacy in marriage.
Intimacy in marriage is about so much more than what you do in the bedroom. Yet, what is or is not shared in your sex life often has a way of creeping into the rest of your relationship. The intimacy you share as spouses help shape your emotional bond, strengthens communication, and can keep the fire alive in a long-term relationship.
Sex in marriage is a wonderful connection that shouldn’t be squandered.
Don’t let miscommunications or shyness prevent you from having fulfilling, passionate sex with your partner. From sharing fantasies to building sexual chemistry, these are 5 quick tips to improve your sex life.
1. Build Emotional Intimacy
Sex goes way deeper than two people getting physically intimate, your emotions also play a huge role in your comfort, confidence, connection, and even your sexual satisfaction. This makes building emotional intimacy with your partner so important.
You can do this by spending more quality time with your spouse. Take 20 minutes in the morning or during dinner to give each other your undivided attention – even better if you can get a whole date night out of it!
This means putting your phones away. Did you know that 7% of people check their phones during sex? Let that sink in. That is the fastest and most disrespectful way to destroy both your emotional and physical relationship.
2. Use Lubrication
Gone are the days where the need for lubrication was closely associated with older, post-menopausal women. Women of all ages are now embracing the sexual enhancement that lube brings into the bedroom.
One 2013 study gathered up 2,451 U.S. women aged 18-68 with regards to how lubrication affected their sexual activity. The results showed that participants associated higher levels of sexual satisfaction and pleasure when using lubrication both with a partner and without. The study also revealed that women were more likely to orgasm when using lubrication.
3. Try New Things
One way you can improve your sex life is by being open to trying new things with your partner. Remember that the more you trust your partner, the more open you will be to getting creative in the bedroom. Here is a list of things you can try:
Practice Doing Kegels
Kegels are a great thing to try when you’re looking for ways to improve your sex life. Kegels are the exercise in which you strengthen your pubococcygeal (pelvic floor) muscles and are believed by some to enhance sexual pleasure.
This exercise is especially helpful for new mothers. In one study in which women were asked to practice pelvic floor exercises for 4-8 weeks, the results showed a significant increase in sexual self-efficacy, particularly in women who had just given birth.
One way to spice up interest in the bedroom is with some erotic materials. While some women may not be into X-rated movies, there are certainly other ways to bring erotica into the bedroom. For example, couples can take turns reading naughty stories to one another in the genre of their choice.
Verbalizing fantasies during sex can be a great turn-on for both partners, as can role-playing. This is a great way to have fun with sex and transport yourself to a forbidden, yet safe scenario with your partner.
Change your Routine
Having a sexual routine is great if it guarantees you’ll reach your climax, but sometimes doing the same thing over and over can get a little stale. Change up your routine in the bedroom by taking things out of the bedroom!
Try making love in the shower, on the couch or on the kitchen floor for a change of pace. As small as this suggestion seems, your mind will be stimulated simply by being in another room. You can also change your routine by looking up new positions and sex tips to try with your spouse.
4. Never, Ever Fake It
Never fake it with your spouse. This is an absolute must if you want to have a rockin’ sex life in your marriage. It may be awkward to admit that you didn’t orgasm. You may even think it’s a kindness to spare your partner from feeling bad about it, but it only does more harm than good.
While there is something to be said for the deep, emotional bond you make with your partner during sex, an orgasm is sort of the ultimate goal. Faking an orgasm is also very difficult to stop once you have made it a habit. You may even start to resent your partner for not catching on.
Do not let a fake orgasm ruin your chances at having a fantastic sex life. Which leads us to…
5. Communicate Regularly
As much as you wish they could, your partner cannot read your mind. This is part of what makes sex so frustrating for women. You know what you want, you know you could do it better yourself, but you desperately want your partner to catch on.
Well, if you want to improve upon your bedroom antics, it’s time to start talking.
Talk to your partner about what you need during sex to have an orgasm. Discuss your kinks, erogenous zones, words they should say and even words they should stay away from to avoid turning you off. Discussing such things openly with your spouse will help them understand your desires better.
Communicate openly with your partner about what you need in order to have a satisfying sex life. Do you need more eye-contact, foreplay, build-up, or kisses? It may be a little nerve-wracking to open up about something so personal but remember that your partner loves you and wants to satisfy you. So let them!
Using these 8 quick tips to improve your sex life should encourage you to boost communication, create sexual chemistry with your partner, and to get create and try new things. By doing so you will be on your way to strengthening your romantic bond and improving physical intimacy in marriage.
About Rachael Pace
Rachael Pace is a relationship expert with years of experience in training and helping couples. She has helped countless individuals and organizations around the world, offering effective and efficient solutions for healthy and successful relationships. She is a featured writer for Marriage.com, a reliable resource to support healthy happy marriages.