There are countless reasons to extend staying in a broken marriage. However, for many people the reasons to leave eventually outweigh the reasons to stay as sensibilities, sanity, and salvation battle for dominance. Still, divorce is never an easy decision. Over a decade ago, men filed for divorce more often than women. However, according to the American Sociological Association (ASA), women are more likely to legally end their marriage. In fact, the numbers are significant with 69% of women filing for divorce as opposed to 31% of men. But what are the main reasons women file for divorce? Below are the top 4 reasons females file for a Michigan divorce or a divorce elsewhere in the U.S.?
Boredom
People are on their best behaviors when a relationship is new, hence why marriage often begins with a bang. Unfortunately, the honeymoon stage ends quickly in most cases.
Moreover, if you don’t work at the relationship consistently to keep things fresh and exciting, it’s bound to become stagnant. Marriage takes work, partners can change, and when you no longer feel interested in making your other half happy, that’s an issue.
Someone continually looking for excitement may want to leave the marriage. If that happens, a complex divorce process may begin, and that brings up a whole other type of emotions.
Lack of Communication and Emotional Connection
After a certain point in a relationship, daily life becomes predictable. In many cases, the relationship can become stagnant. Consistent communication is essential to continue an emotional and fulfilling connection, but far too many men withdraw from that aspect of their relationship.
When women feel like they have to continually fight to be heard or appreciated, they tend to withdraw and lose an emotional connection with their partners. And once that connection is broken, continual fights, repeated arguments, and the feeling of outgrowing their partner can occur. A divorce is often the final result.
Resentment and Desire for an Equal Partner
Once upon a time, women relied on their husbands to help develop their own personal identities, ongoing security, and maintain societal expectations. However, times have changed and more women are quite self-sufficient prior to considering marriage.
The modern woman tends to expect and demand an equal partner, and that’s especially the case when the wife’s income exceeds her husband’s. Approximately 38% of American women earn more than their spouses. While that may have little to no effect on strong marriages, those with ongoing issues such as infidelity and lack of communication are often put at risk by the underlying resentment and desire for an equal partner.
Betrayal or the Assumption of Infidelity
It’s easy to see your partner as an angel during the honeymoon stage. But after you’ve been together for a while, the halo slips, and the horns start to show. There’s a difference between being human and being continuously disrespectful, disloyal, or even dangerous. In a recent study, 92% of men polled stated they’d either forgive or would be willing to continue working on their marriage if their wife cheated.
However, women are generally nowhere near as forgiving when it comes to betrayal. Therefore, infidelity or the assumption of infidelity is the most common reason women contact a competent divorce attorney who can help them regain their own identity and independent security.
Top photo by RODNAE Productions via Pexels
Hi,
A well written post. Can’t have enough of it. It is true the biggest driving factor for today’s woman has to be “Resentment and Desire for an Equal Partner.” I can totally relate to this part. There is no point dragging a relationship that has ,moved past this threshold, as there is no respect for the other person. Really amazing piece.
You point out a great part of the article, Stella. Stay safe, be well xx
This is interesting. I mean, it doesn’t surprise me at all but I also didn’t know that men used to file more than women. I guess when I think about it, that makes sense as well. I am in the process of divorce due to infidelity and it’s been such a hard journey. I’m thankful to know that others out there are where I am too.
You are not alone and you have many good times ahead. Stay strong, Madi.
Communication and trust are key in marriages! I am not actually shocked that women are filing for divorce more than men. Women, for the most part, know more about how to make long-term relationships work, they have the social skills and desire. Lots of men I see sit back, watch the football game when they get home, go out drinking with their buddies like they’re single and don’t seem to make marriage a priority in their life.
Making marriage a priority is a MUST for both sides. Thanks for sharing your views here!
Hmmmm that’s very interesting that men are more willing to forgive than women! Lol maybe because they’re cheating anyway 🤭lol
Very informative post! 👌🏾👌🏾
The main thing that is frustrating about divorce for a woman is that her financial situation tends to decline while and man’s increases. I find that so troubling.
I agree with all four of these points, Christy. A very good article.
Not only does boredom cause issues but also leads to one or both straying in the relationship. It does make me wonder how our grandparents were able to have a 50-70 year marriage when it’s hard for many people to get to 10 years anymore. Great read!!
Thank goodness my wife still puts up with me!
I just don’t know why people get married in the first place, as it’s such an antiquated custom, and is so expensive! The institution of marriage was set up by the Church to enforce women to look after men, children and everything else, so it was never an equal partnership, as men always gained much much more through the arrangement. I think many women fall for the romantic notions lived out through their Grandmothers, or film or romantic novels, and want to be a princess for the day. After the honeymoon, she gets to see reality for the first time, and if she has changed her name then part of her feels missing, like she is reduced in some manner, and realises that life just goes on as usual. I can see the correlation between those 3 points, you mention, as men generally are not the best communicators and flee when things get difficult; most often equate sex with love, when a woman is wanting more emotional intimacy,;and his idea of sex is often not fulfilling for her, as he climaxes far too quickly, then falls asleep, and often does not put much effort into pleasing her sexuality ( and she often does not ask, or know how to please herself) and most men take 11 extra years to mature emotionally, and she gets bored waiting for him to get out of the toddler stage ( tantrums and bullying to get what he wants, or fleeing when he doesn’t want to take responsibility). As a relationship and sex counsellor, I can honestly say, that 90% of relationship problems are related to men not being responsible, being selfish for sex and everything else ( likes to put himself first in most decisions and evades most responsibilities except paid work, his overbearing superiority attitude that often puts women down ( covers a deep seated insecurity) and his philandering which often starts with the birth of the first child, as he feels left out! It’s time that men grew up, cause women are getting most bored of their infantile behaviours!
That superiority complex you speak of is such a frustration, Bridget! It just makes a woman question herself and feel “less than,” which is anything but healthy for her self-confidence. I’ll take a look at the post you linked to as I am interested in more of your views on this topic. Thank you for the passionate comment xx
I can definitely see women needing to thrive to an emotional connection and communication. I am that way. My husband and I know when things get rough communication is what is going to keep us sane and together through our tough times as a couple. Thank you for sharing!
Emotional connection is so important. Great post.
So interesting to read these reasons! Great post! xx
This is an eye-opening post. I had no idea of these statistics or what the leading contributing factors were for divorce. I would have thought it would be money issues – but I guess the one about resentment and desire for an equal partner would touch on that category. And not surprising about the infidelity piece. Eep. Thank you for sharing this. :)
Interesting. I divorced my first husband in 1990 and my second in 2013. Not for any of the reasons you suggest. For me, and maybe for other 50’s women, the situation had to do with wanting freedom to grow into being myself.
Good to know😉
I wonder if the reason women are more likely to get a divorce is because they are raised with higher expectations of marriage.
It could be that societal expectations play a roll… I personally was surprised by the boredom factor…
If a person gets a divorce because their marriage is boring, I’m going to feel more sorry for the person who is left than the person who is leaving. With great marriage comes great responsibilities, and real life responsibility can be pretty damn dull. No one thinks paying bills and doing laundry is fun (that I know of).
The one that surprised me was that men were more forgiving of infidelity than women. That seems counter intuitive to me.
Marriage is hard work! As long as you are both actively making an effort, love will win. Dedication of two people working together can result in the most rewarding outcomes. I’m loving my husband more and more everyday, even after eight years. I couldn’t do life without him! <3
After working with divorce attorneys for 20+ years, I’d add laziness and social media to the list. Marriage takes a lot of hard work and effort. Keeping your nose in your phone or behind a computer screen doesn’t solve problems, it only perpetuates them.
The item on the list that surprised me was boredom- somehow I never expected that though it is something that tends to happen in long term relationships.
Excellent post, Christy! :) **Thumbs Up!** :)
69% of women vs 31% of men filing for divorce is pretty poignant! We live in a different age now, where women don’t need to get married for economic stability. We can do that ourselves and often better than men! Women can run corporations AND run their families.
Regarding the ‘Honeymoon phase’ — I find people in society are caught up in the mirage of ‘the stuff’ society says to do…even if it’s not right for them. If people would think for themselves and have more self-awareness too, it’d save more people headaches and heart aches (ie: People think, I’m this/or that age, so I should get married and have kids).
If you don’t have YOUR OWN life, you shouldn’t be looking to be someone’s wife or husband! YOU are responsible for YOUR OWN happiness! NOBODY can ‘make’ you happy. YOU have to fill yourself up FIRST, THEN when YOUR CUP is OVERFLOWING, you’ll have something to share with another person! Literally, if you had and empty tea cup, and you wanted to give some to another person, how can you share something with another person that you don’t even have for yourself? There’s no tea in your cup, therefore stay with the task of finding the tea first.
Love is the ultimate energy, but in the setting of a marriage love can fade, it can break and it can be lost. In a marriage love IS NOT enough. If the trust is broken, you have nothing. Looks fade. Excitement fades. Monotony sets in….then what?
Life is a journey to ourselves. It takes a lifetime to figure ourselves out, find what lights up our souls and face our fears to become the best versions of ourselves. We are always growing and evolving – for better or for worse. This doesn’t stop once you get married. You still have to continue working on yourself and tending to your needs, wants, desires and new goals.
Too many people have the voice of society in their heads (I get that that’s part of how the machine of society runs on auto-pilot: Decades of societal conditioning). Marriage isn’t about a diamond and it’s definitely not forever (the diamond). Marriage isn’t about a wedding dress, venue, guest list, decorations or wedding reception/big party.
Marriage is about the marathon of WORK, trials, tribulations, good times, and the unknown that is to come over the lifetime two people agreed to share together, not the fleeting ‘glitz’ of a few hours in 1 day where the wedding takes place.
People have the ‘fun’ of a wedding confused with the work of a real marriage and all that comes with it.
“Marriage is the marathon of work” – Chrissy, this comment is insightful and speaks to your healthy self-confidence. Thank you for it <3 Let's be complete and stand tall, with or without a partner xx
Amen Sister!! 🙏🏽🙏🏽💪💪😊😊
Thanks for sharing! I’ve found this article really interesting. Especially about boredom, as one of the main reason to end up marriage. All the best :-)
“The halos slips and the horns start to show.” That’s pretty clever. And for many, true. I think one of the answers is to never put a halo on anyone. We’re all imperfect, and continued love takes a lot of hard work with communication, emotional and physical commitment, and kindness and respect. I hurt for couples who have been married for ten years or so, and they see their marriage fall apart. It doesn’t need to. Divorce is so painful. Working on a marriage is well worth the effort.
Thank you, Christy, for sharing your post on why women divorce. Although there may be good reasons to divorce, it sounds like many people have set unreasonable expectations on what a relationship or marriage constitutes. Boredom seems such a trite excuse to end it. It takes a 100% commitment from both partners to keep their vows to one another. After reading this, I count my blessings that I’ve been married close to 50 years to my best friend and soul mate. Our marriage has gone through lots of bumps in the road, but we’ve learned how to work through these. We’ve also allowed each other enough space to grow as individuals and not totally depend on each other for emotional needs. In our throw-away society, it saddens me how divorce can cause so much bitterness in couples which can then negatively impact their children.
Reblogging this 😊
Commuication is the key to everything.
…(shakes head)… Christy, I will do the entire reading world a favor and stay out of this topic. o_O Some baggage just doesn’t get unpacked. ;)