Recently, I shared thoughts on how the Me Too movement is impacting the dating scene, and your comments on that post were very insightful. As usual, you brought intelligent conversations to the table. So, I want to highlight some of those comments. The opinions of 4 readers follow. Their comments touch on different aspects of the #MeToo movement, from where it’s heading to what it means and how it impacts today’s dating scene.
1. Men Face Sexual Harassment Too
Colline reminds us that “there are men, too, who are being harassed by women – but we do not hear about this.” Exactly!
It’s true that most people think first about women as the ones facing harassment in the workplace. But men face it too. As per the U.S. Equal Employment Opportunity Commission, 16.5 percent of charges alleging sexual harassment were filed by males. So, while the amount is fewer than women, it’s still happening. On a related note, this blog is NOT anti-male – let’s just make that clear.
2. Follow Your Instincts
Tiffany’s comment left on the #MeToo movement blog post is also one that deserves mention. She writes, “Honestly, I say don’t ever go to a mans house if you feel uncomfortable.” She adds that it’s ideal to have cash available and a car service if you have to go home, such as Uber.
I have learned to listen to my gut more and thus avoid undesirable situations where once I would have ignored my instincts. This is not to say a woman is ever deserving of harassment or any other undesirable behavior but instead as a way to prevent any issue from even happening to begin with.
3. Is the #MeToo Movement about Sexual Harassment or Sexual Abuse?
Loretta explains that for her, “the #MeToo movement was about sexual ABUSE not about harassment, and abusing power.” She comments that the lines between abuse and harassment have become blurred and lumped together in this movement.
After reading Loretta’s comment, I did some Google searches on #MeToo and found that indeed articles about the movement pertaining to both harassment and abuse came up in the search results. This tells me that Loretta has brought to light an important and unfortunate point. Sexual abuse is VERY different than sexual harassment. While I don’t wish either of them on anyone, abuse is in my past and I won’t mix them up. In the future, I plan to write more about sexual abuse vs. harassment as it seems it’s not a clear distinction in everyone’s minds. That surprises and horrifies me, to be honest.
RawMultimedia also talks about blurred lines and the confusion of the #MeToo movement. As he adds, “when has anything in the world been crystally clear…” He also says this is yet another movement for people to hear and learn about, which can make some feel out of touch.
4. Speak Clearly and Honestly When Dating
“Honesty and clarity of intention are necessary,” writes John, in response to the original #MeToo movement post. He explains that if a guy misses a woman’s signals that she doesn’t have interest in him, then she ought to instead say clearly that she doesn’t think they are a good fit.
Well put, John. Then there’s not ambiguity. As he also writes, there’s got to be a stop to the “game” of dating. In relationships, there are many different emotions, even from the first date for some people. And getting hurt emotionally is not fun.
Similarly, Gallantly, Gal writes, “Women can also speak up and say, “No, not interested.” Then it’s the man’s responsibility to respect that boundary. The biggest problem with the abuse of power is that the men just don’t get the phrase “NO.” NO MEANS NO. I think another problem is using “no” as a sexy thing, like in Fifty Shades for example.”
Oh don’t even start me ranting on Fifty Shades. It’s a romance? In reality, it’s Gray channeling anger onto other women from the abuse he faced from his mother. I can’t believe this is a film franchise (3 of them!).
Me Too Movement: Let’s Continue to the Discussion
These are just some of the well-written opinions I received about the Me Too movement. Feel free to visit the original post to see them all in the comments section there. Also, if you feel I have not expressed your comment well in this post please let me know and I will change it.
Thank you to all who regularly comment on this blog and participate in the discussions. You’re the main reason this blog continues, and you motivate me to keep publishing here.
♥Christy
This was a very insightful post. Thank you.
The positive words are appreciated, Alison!
Thank you for the always great postings, Christy! Have a good week. Michael ;-)
As this movement has grown, I have been horrified to discover just how many women have been sexually assaulted. Many of whom I know personally. Just sad. But, this thing has real momentum, and I’d say it’s about time.
Yes, the movement has brought many voices to the table that previously were fearful of speaking up or not able to do so. The empowering nature of all of this is a positive! Your comment here is appreciated.
Thank you for sharing the original post, and then also including feedback from readers. This is a very charged issue, and I don’t think anyone could harm from having some respectful, well-thought out discussion.
Whether we’re women who fear being harassed on a daily basis, or whether we’re men, who have the best intentions and want to make sure we respect our fellow humans: this issue touches us all.
I think one thing that gets lost in discussions about gender equality is that even if we have differing opinions or perspectives, we all just want to make the world a better place. I love that you allow for thorough, in-depth discussion and airing of opinions on your blog. It allows us all to see things from a new lens, so we can continue to grow.
Hi Kelsey. Your comment tells me that the format of this blog is effective and motivates me to keep going – so thank you for it! You bring up a valid point about intentions being good in most cases and let’s see that number grow :) Have a great day!
Thank you Christy.
I appreciate intelligent women such as yourself, Loretta. Thank you for participating in the discussions here.
Hi everyone l am a new blogger and just learning blogging
Yes men are harassed too, and that is in no way okay or appropriate. However, that has not had a fraction of the impact on countless lives as what women have gone through for centuries, and continue to endure. It has not derailed as many careers (if any).
Thanks for the Me Too follow-up, Christy. Clearly it is still needed.
The bus driver last year who told me where he wanted to put his penis.
Just a couple of weeks ago an executive who offered a “big sloppy kiss.” An insignificant thing compared to truly horrific things I’ve experienced, but an example that it is still going on, from people who should know better.
Wishing you a beautiful new week. Hugs.
Those two suggestive comments you spoke of Teagan are not welcomed and I hope that one day women will get the respect we deserve. As you say, women are the majority of those harassed, but I still wanted to speak to the men who receive this terrible treatment too. Thank you for your great comments, on this post and others, which continue to advance the movement toward gender equality. Hugs.
Terrific post, Christy. Internat’l Women’s Day eluded me this year, so posts like this are much appreciated ❤
This is a very, very thoughtful post. It is a perfect example of all that is the best about this blog. Thank you, Christy! xo
OMG, thanks for the shoutout! Its great to have the opinions of both Men and Women. This movement has taken on more of a confusion in what specifics it is about. We can all agree sexual abuse, assault, and harassment are completely wrong. Yet, I agree with the issues of “Fifty Shades of Grey”. How can they even think to play it for Womens Day? Wow! Its interesting how the #MeToo movement said nothing against it. We have to be careful not to give ignorance a voice over allegations which are untrue and to give those who need to be heard the stage. I do believe we need to open the stage to receive male inputs on the matter and how it affects them. Because as someone mentioned, saying “No” in a sexual, suggestive way isn’t the same as “No” shouting no when you mean no. We need to be clear by not only saying “No”, but follow with “Stop” and getting up to walk away. And the levels of sexual allegations when it comes to physical contact (either accidental or purposeful).
One way to combat issues like this is to keep talking about them – thank you doing that! Happy International Women’s Day (for the day and every day)!
I am glad Christy that people are very active on your blog, because really you have a wonderful site. I don’t have that habit to read comments below posts, but I will do that in the future,because I can find there a lot of great things :)
Christy, Happy international women’s day to you too.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts on the subject, Christy. Lets see how the movement progresses over time.
Thanks for the mention, Christy!
This is a great summary of the responses you received on this topic. Love this blog. Thank you, thank you for sharing. ~ Blessings, KK
Great Post Christy like always💜
You are welcome
Fantastic post, Christy! You helped to make it a great day! <3
Great post, Christy! Happy Women’s Day!
Same to you, Amy, same to you ♥
Superb post. It’s so great you don’t just take your posts so seriously and carefully, but your comments section too.
Absolutely. And thanks for contributing, Alex.
The pleasure was all mine.
Happy International Women’s Day Christy. :)
And wishing you a great day too, Bruce :) :)
Great post Christy..
Happy woman day dear ♡
Thanks Sohair! A beautiful day I wish for you :)