In the hard grind of life, sometimes you can get bogged down in the mundane and forget about finding ways to revitalize your marriage. Because you spend so much time running around trying to sort out the kids and keep the house in some kind of orderly fashion, finding just a moment to stop and reflect can be difficult.
Of course, this doesn’t mean that you are failing, it’s just a small indication that you need to reassess your current situation and figure out some ways to renew your love and get back in touch. Marriage is for the long haul and it’s as much about listening to each other and respecting each other as it is about confirming your love every day.
1. Revitalize your marriage by taking the time to listen
When you are busy and there’s a lot going on, it’s all too easy to talk without listening properly. We’re all guilty of this one from time to time but there is an easy solution: stop for a moment, remove yourself from the distractions and listen – really listen.
We think of talking as being the most important thing when actually listening has far more value. When we stop and listen to each other properly, we can see where the problems are and begin to find practical solutions together. In a marriage, this goes a step further because for you to remain happy as a couple, you need to trust that you will listen to each other.
2. Enjoy some time alone
Taking some time out from ‘real life’ might sound selfish, but actually, going away as a couple is really healthy for your relationship. Without the kids in tow, you will be able to return to your younger selves and enjoy each other’s company without the stresses and strains of your day-to-day life. A Christian marriage retreat is a perfect idea as this will give you time to heal and reconnect through your faith.
Even if you only manage a short weekend break, this could be a great way to show your love for each other and to work through some of the issues that have no doubt been building over the last few years. Be honest with each other and support each other and when you get home, you will feel lighter and happier.
3. Surprise each other: Another way to revitalize the marriage
After the initial whirlwind romance and the early days of marriage, you may find that your relationship settles into a familiar pattern. Much of this is a sign that you are truly comfortable in your relationship and that you are working well as a family unit as well as being a couple. However, just occasionally, you might like to spice things up, whether it’s on Valentine’s or any other day.
It’s always nice to keep things fresh and surprising each other is a nice touch. It might be something as simple as a special dinner, fun present, or movie night or it could be a little more extravagant like a gift. Whatever you do, keep the romance alive and demonstrate how special they are and how much you love them.
A few last words
Should you continue to try to try with the marriage and not find a way to make it work, seeking a family law attorney might be the next step. Continuing to maintain a cordial relationship with the other person for the sake of your kids and to make the process smoother is important.
Wishing you all the best in your marriage. Love takes patience and effort. How have you revitalized your marriage?
Top photo: Maintaining a marriage takes work. Pixabay photo (CC0).
I love this! I’m so glad that God gave me a husband that loves talking and listening! I’m so grateful that he loves to have conversations! When I’m busy cleaning the house and apologizing because everything isn’t perfect, he often sits me down and tell me that he really doesn’t care if the house is clean. He cares more that I spent time with him and our baby. Thank you for the reminders!
20 years of marriage. Kids have taken the front and center stage. My husband and I have been in counseling to fix our marriage. It’s odd how easy your marriage can get put aside and your kids become your life. We are now doing dates once a week and spending 15 minutes a day with each other to connect where the kids aren’t allowed to disrupt us. Amazingly things are going so much better! I am extremely glad we pursued a counselor who has helped us work through a lot of disappointments and we’ve avoided divorce or separation and now enjoy each other again.
How wonderful to hear that counseling is helping bringing you two closer together :)
Thanks for the advise. Great post I am currently struggling with my marriage and will put this things in effect hoping that it will get better.
Fab piece of writing! I had compiled a list some time back, quite similar to this one…
https://aguidetorelationships.wordpress.com/2018/01/17/successful-marriages-have-these-in-common/
Please have a look when you can. :)
lovely.
Great post! 😊
Thank you for writing this! I pleaded guilty to not doing #3 anymore…I’m going to surprise my wife soon now! :D
Woohoo!!
Is a marriage with multiple husbands difficult?
💜 this & everything you said was so true! I wrote a blog similar to this one not too long ago. Tips on how to keep your marriage fresh! You should check it out sometime!! 😊
I would add…touch. Touch each other. Hold hands, touch an arm, rub a foot (or two). Touch keeps things alive for us.
Wonderful trips Christy, similar to some of the things I write in my newest book. Great minds! :) xx
I couldn’t agree more, Christy. One thing my husband and I have done for years to squeeze in some private time midweek is to have a lunch date. Since it is usually easier for me to get away, I will pick him up at his office and take him somewhere quiet to eat. In warm weather we sometimes have a picnic in a nearby park. This short break just gives us a chance to talk and reconnect, which is sometimes difficult at home when we’re both busy.
Great post !!
I agree. I have been married for 8 years and I make sure I spice things up. 😉😉
Thank you for this post. 😊
Great tips Christy,
marriages break apart not because of lack of love, but because of lack of friendship. I will remember those tips for good :)
Nice post Christy! :)
Great post and great tips ❤
well this is a decent post – but I find it funny when someone single writes tips for marriage posts –
but it was very well done –
even though it really targeted married folks who have kids – and were in a certain stage (but again – nice job – esp. on the listen part)
and the only thing I would add is to remember to nurture the friendship and cling to each other.
Don’t let trials pull – try and use them to cling more.
Do not forget that touch and sex are a super glue to infuse the bond – and couples with healthy shared sex lives have more super glue.
Too often in my experience I see folks expecting too much from a retreat – when it is the day to day support and bond that keeps the garden healthy….
Great ideas!
Right on the money, Christy! So necessary to keep things ‘interesting’… ;) ;)
I’m very lucky in that my man works only a five minute drive away. This allows us to ‘get together’ for lunch sometimes, or meet for a coffee during the morning or afternoon. These are very special occasions, even though they may not sound like much, they bring us together because it is something we ‘don’t have to do’, but, ‘want to’… I’m hearing the song, Love is in the Air…. :)
xoxoxo
This is such a great post. It is so easy to let life become so routine. Going to remember these.
Your articles are always of a good quality.
Thank you Christy
Your friend Tony of France
Will think of surprising my hubby. Thanks Christy!
Great post. Great advice. It is sad what familiarity and routine can do.