Can bad influencers on social media wreak havoc on your self-confidence? French fashion style vlogger and author Marie-Anne Lecoeur explains her experiences.
Do your influencers drain your self-confidence?
I read a recent article that shocked me and left me feeling sad. The story centred on the experience of a Marketer working with Instagram Influencers. Far from making her feel happy and uplifted the experience left her in tears and her self-confidence crushed.
Working with people, who live and portray glamorous, sophisticated lifestyles, should uplift you, inspire you, make you feel on top of the world. You should feel like you too can achieve that lifestyle.
If you allow yourself to come under the influence of another, it is a given that the influence should be positive. The word influencer is of course completely neutral in terms of outcome. And, Influencers come with no health warning: perhaps they should.
On bad influencers
Nowhere did I read how the influencers felt about this poor girl, how they reacted when or even if they were told about her plight. That makes me equally sad. It appears dismissive, uncaring and as far from the role of being an influencer as I can imagine.
So where did it all go wrong? Why has glamour gone sour?
And sour it certainly has. I hear similar stories in the comments, messages and emails I receive. My viewers and readers tell me that, invariably, they compare their lifestyles to influencers. They feel that they and their lives do not measure up. This is wrong.
How to stay positive when using social media
You should not compare your lives to others, especially if you do it unfavourably. You should not be left with no or little belief in your life, your lifestyle, your achievements, the life choices you have made, or the circumstances you have been dealt.
This comparison, this gap, does not recognise that we are all different and have lead different lives and have been dealt different circumstances to reach where we are right now. Never believe that you are not living the right life or that you cannot attain something that you wish.
Never doubt that you are the very person you were born to be and as such have the seed of something great within you. Never allow your self belief to be drained away.
If you recognise this negative influence occurring in your life, perhaps you should be looking at the Influencers you are following. You must do things that make you feel good about yourself.
Follow those who give you your power and self-belief back. Follow people who inspire you and make you believe in yourself.
Follow those people who show you that you can make changes in your life to attain your goals and your desires. You are exactly who you were meant to be.
Yes, we can improve our lives and our situations and in order to begin that journey we must accept that our lives are not living up to their full potential but we should not feel crushed in the process.
Change how you view yourself. You are you. You are unique.
Choose to follow people who uplift you.
The words above apply not just to social media, but also to other areas in your life.
Bad influencers exist outside of the online world too
Friends, family, and colleagues can also make you feel negative.
Surround yourself as much as possible with people who believe in you and who make you believe in yourself. Reduce contact with those who do the opposite.
Napoloen Hill, in his book Think and Grow Rich, created the concept of a Mastermind. A group of like minded people to support and uplift each other.
This group believes in each other; they support each other and raise each other up. Positive influence.
It is certainly what I want for the community I have created in my Youtube channel. People share their stories and get support from other members.
They offer each other help. I have even had some members meet up and go shopping together to help each other with their style.
I want people to see me as their BFCF, their Best French Chic Friend. I want my social media to uplift people and help and support others through style. It is the glue that binds us together in that community, just as seeking inspiration is the glue that binds the community here.
This is one way that we can uplift each other and raise the confidence of every one. Perhaps we should lose the term Influencer and instead follow Inspirers and Uplifters.
Over to you
Please let me know whether you have come under the thrall of bad influencers and, most importantly, let me know what you are going to do about it.
About today’s writer
Marie-Anne Lecoeur is a personal style consultant and author of two best selling books on Amazon on the subjects of French Chic and French Living. She lives in a small cottage in the middle of the Normandy countryside with her husband and two chihuahuas.
For more information, visit marieannelecoeur.com and howtobechicandelegant.com. Also find Marie-Anne on YouTube.
Bonjour Amy and thank you for your comment. We must also remind ourselves that Social Media is not the whole world! I think people get sucked in too much and get a restricted view of the world from only one perspective x
To me, social media can be a trap. Why do we want to fit in here, with invisible people?
What about the real people who love you?
I suppose some of us don’t have real people who love us. If we do, they can be the negatives, too? SIGH!
Christy, Marie-Anne are we so far gone into the social media experience that we can’t distinguish between what’s good for us, and what can mess us up?
Apparently, yes, according to this post.
Are people sheeple?
Parents need to step up, singles need to step up and educators need to step up!
This has been a difficult comment for me, as I enjoy engaging friends on WordPress.
However, I’ve grown dissatisfied with Twitter, Instagram and other more fast-food type platforms.
I’ll shut up now before I get into trouble!
This was a very interesting article.
Here, here. Today’s youth, especially, have grown up surrounded by social media, and are already at an age where the opinions of their peers mean virtually everything to them. Negative or harmful influences are hard for any of us to overcome, as Resa says-that goes doubly for our kids. While we can’t prevent the exposure, we need to be available and approachable for when they need affirmation or just a friendly ear.
Thank yo for your positive response, and Happy Holidays!
Bonjour Resa I am so glad you enjoyed the article. Just as I try to persuade my style students to take control back over their style, rather than blindly following what influencers wear, we must take control back over our own Social Media feeds. We must carefully consider what we share and who and where we share it. I appreciate that it may have been difficult to make your comment and am so glad you did x