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How To Find Hope When You Are Hurting

From darkness to light quote

How to find hope, even when you are hurting. Image via BK, CC BY-SA 2.0, via Flickr.

Life is tough, and sometimes we face difficulties and challenges that overwhelm us. People hurt us by letting us down. Relationships fail. We can lose our jobs. Loved ones pass away. Disaster can strike at any time, and we are left to pick up the pieces. It can seem as if there is no hope, and trying to get back on the road to recovery is a long, slow process. You might ask yourself, ‘why me?’ Unfortunately, none of us are immune to life’s problems, whether they are on a small or large scale. However, there is hope, even when you can’t see a way out of your struggles. Here are some suggestions you may find helpful when you are struggling to cope.

Pursue a sense of peace

When problems arise, our normal reaction is to look for answers. Yet, sometimes there is no answer. Instead of focusing your energy on why something happened to you, turn that focus around into finding peace instead. Accept what has happened to you, no matter how difficult this may be, and find safe ways to move on. Remember the saying, ‘accept what you cannot change; have the courage to change the things you can, and have the wisdom to know the difference.’ These words are true. So, if something can’t be changed, give yourself an emotional break, and fall into acceptance. Time does heal, no matter how glib that sounds.

Distract yourself

During difficult periods, it is normal to experience negative feelings. However, wallowing in them for too long is unhealthy for your mental health. Therefore, make an effort to partake in activities you enjoy. Spend time with people who will lift you out of your sorrow, and not relish in it with you. Make time to get healthy, to strengthen both your body and mind. In short, take a break from your emotions. While your problem may not go away, you may find renewed strength to deal with it.

Seek help

When we are hurting, we can easily fall into destructive behaviors. This may include indulging in addictive behaviors, such as taking drugs or drinking excessive amounts of alcohol. Some people self-harm. These are short-time solutions to finding relief but will do nothing to help in the longer term. In fact, they will create further problems. So, don’t shut yourself away and fall prey to any behavior that will bring you greater harm. If you fall into these traps, book yourself into a drug rehab, speak to a medical professional, and consider counseling. There are people and places you can go to for help, without becoming trapped within your wounded existence.

Practice forgiveness

Forgiveness works in two ways. For starters, be merciful towards those who have hurt you. You don’t have to like these people, but becoming bitter and twisted in your attitude towards them is going to hurt you more than it hurts them. Don’t pursue revenge, either. It will only create greater chaos in your life. Instead, tell yourself that you forgive them, and practice this mantra until it becomes a reality. Secondly, forgive yourself. Your situation may be down to your mistakes, and you may have hurt others in the process. You can’t change what has happened, but you can move on from it. Apologize to those you have hurt, whether they accept your apologies or not, and then move forward with confidence, making an effort to change your present and future for the better. Shame will eat you up inside, so don’t let it define you.


It’s easy to read the words above and disregard them, especially when you are in a great deal of pain. Please don’t. Seek help when you need to, and be kind to yourself and others. There is hope, and you do have the capability to move on. You may need to take things one day at a time, but life will get better eventually.



  1. Loretta October 16, 2017

    points 1 and 2 ran true for my son, who has been living with physical pain for over a year. He just told me yesterday that he wants people to stop saying it will get better. For him he would rather deal with where he is now, instead of focusing on a hope.

  2. imatter October 16, 2017

    Nice Post! The Pain of Hurt sometimes can be traumatic, We always need a helping hand to pull us up

  3. Melissa October 16, 2017

    Your posts reflect such genuine thoughts and words. Thank you.

  4. Teagan R. Geneviene October 16, 2017

    Lovely thoughts, Christy. Hugs on the wing.

  5. Sweta October 16, 2017

    thank you for posting this amazing post Christy, it is so helpful. ❤

  6. Jill Weatherholt October 16, 2017

    I loved your thoughts on forgiveness, Christy. So many people hang on to their anger towards others, never realizing they’re only hurting themselves. Great post!

  7. throughrosetintedglasses54 October 16, 2017

    Thank goodness for hope.. encouraging and true thoughts.

  8. Resa October 16, 2017

    Great advice! Distraction, taking an emotional break is an interesting point to me.
    I was forced to take a break yesterday when the power went out for 12 hours. Candles and an old transistor radio worked wonders!

  9. Mariam Naveed October 16, 2017

    Trust me forgiveness is not easy especially to a deceiver

  10. badgeezer October 16, 2017

    To forgive is to release yourself from anger.

  11. seaangel4444 October 16, 2017

    Hi dear Christy! Forgiveness is such a difficult thing to do and yet, an absolute necessity. I know we stay connected on an energy level to those we feel have done something wrong. It’s so vital to forgive. And by the way my dear, WordPress (in all its glory!) has interestingly unfollowed some of the blogs I follow (and I believe this has happened with yours). Huge apologies from the WordPress Line Gremlins (*grin*) but I’m back my dear! Cher xo

  12. thelonelycorner October 16, 2017

    Couldn’t have said it better myself. It took my years to understand the importance of getting help and it is something that has made a world of difference

  13. Eliza Waters October 16, 2017

    Clear and insightful post, Christy.

  14. Susan Sproull October 16, 2017

    Sound advice Christy. A favourite quote of mine that I read from one of Wayne Dyer’s books is “I choose peace over this.”

  15. Understand546 October 16, 2017

    Good blog

  16. mysticwriter2002 October 16, 2017

    You forgot one point that is #practice hate and hate and hate and hate . The more you do it the more you grow self – absorbness 😉

  17. myexpressionofthoughtsblog October 17, 2017

    A lovely post which in close to life and heart of understand it nicely

  18. Samantha October 17, 2017

    I love this post.

  19. Miss Gentileschi October 17, 2017

    Truly wonderful article and sound advice, Christy! 😄❤

  20. Glenn P Maypa October 18, 2017

    Very encouraging and practical. May I add trust in God.

  21. dgkaye October 18, 2017

    Fantastic post full of encouraging tips Christy. Forgiveness is a particularly difficult one to master, but I’m living proof it can be done. <3

  22. Amy Caudill October 19, 2017

    This is absolutely beautiful Christy. If more of us took this advice there would be far fewer problems in the world.

  23. robbiesinspiration October 31, 2017

    This is a great post, Christy. I have read it at a very opportune time for me.

    1. Christy B October 31, 2017

      I am so glad you told me that. This blog is meant to help people so that means a lot.. HUGS

  24. unbreakableyetfragile November 23, 2017


    1. Christy B November 23, 2017

      Awww I wish you a wonderful holiday <3

    2. unbreakableyetfragile November 23, 2017

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