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Change of Seasons: Coping as a Mother

Today I welcome author Didi Oviatt to the blog. If you’re not already following her self-titled blog, I suggest you do so! Her blog posts range from writing tips for authors to poetry, book reviews, and updates on her suspense books and short stories. In the guest post below, Didi provides a heartfelt look into her experiences as a mother, and I believe there is a lot to takeaway from this post. Now, let’s give Didi the floor:

Thank you so much Christy for having me here. I absolutely love this blog and am one hundred percent honored to contribute. As a busy career driven mother of two, I’ve found myself in a weird emotional place as of late, so writing this post is just as good for me as it is for readers (I hope). It helps sometimes to get this stuff out!

You see, I have mixed feelings about the change of season this year! The Fall has always been my favorite time of year. I’m a hoodie sweater, pumpkin-spice latte, and leaf change admiring kind of a gal. Maybe it’s the age of my kids, or even the progress I’ve made over the last year with my writing, but there’s just something about 2017 that feels different. It’s like the depth of everything important in my life just seems maximized.

I had to turn the heater on in my house the other day and it literally made me cry. My husband instantly jumped to the, “Oh God, it’s the woman change” conclusion lol… I’m like, “Really? I just barely turned thirty-mother-lovin-two this month, cut me a break!”

And then I sat back and thought about it. Obviously he’s way off base, but what could possibly be the root of this emotional madness I find myself in?  So I did a little bit of reflection, and realized that I actually do have so much in life to be grateful for, as well as to be anxious about! Thus the awkward swirl of confused emotion that seems to have blown up inside my body like a balloon until it’s gotten itself stuck there.

The last three years of my life have been a whirlwind of milestones and changes. Having to flip that switch and turn the heater on in my house just meant that time really is actually just a nasty hag. There is no pause, or stop or reset button. A change in season is kind of like that slap on the face that makes it all real.

So I sat there for a minute, watched my growing kids play and just bawled. I thought of the weird little things that usually slip your mind on a regular basis. I had a hysterectomy when my daughter was just over a year old, so I most definitely will never have any more kids. Once the tail end of November rolls around she’ll be three. This means that all the little baby milestones are officially over with. Both of my kids, are just that… Kids! *more tears*  The baby days are over, and even the end of their toddler years are creeping to a close.

How does a mother actually accept this harsh reality of time? That moment when you realize that your kids are actually kids and not babies anymore! It’s kind of like an emotional pivotal point. I feel like I’m in an AA meeting, and some soon to be ex-alcoholic group is slapping me on the back and congratulating me for moving out of the ‘denial zone.’

Oh how I wish I could scoop both of my kids up in my arms and just keep them exactly like they are forever. No more growing, and changing and all that crap. I want my five year old to stay thirty seven pounds, and build legos, and practice his speech so I can help him learn to pronounce his struggling “th” and “sp” ‘s (you really should hear him try to say “special thief spoon thug.” Lol it’s adorable!)… I want to hear that excited squeal my daughter has when I pack her around on my shoulders, and I want to always be able to fit her entire face in the palms of my hands when we cup each other’s cheeks at bedtime to say, “I love you to the moon, goodnight.”

It’s easy to get so wrapped up in life that we take these little things for granted and then one day it’s just gone. Especially in this day and age when we as women work alongside the men. We have jobs, careers, goals, and aspirations. Being a mommy comes first and foremost, yet we still have to find the time to squeeze in all the extras. We get to wear a dozen hats plus, keep the household together, teach our kids a strong moral code all the while exploring the ins and outs of growth, organize lunches with the other mommies, and still manage to meet deadlines at the office. Until pretty soon time has gotten the better of us, and we find ourselves wondering where it went and what happened to our youth!?

So, as I sat there crying in my soup over the heater in my house/moving time, a second realization told hold. Thank the Lord it did, because no one wants to be stuck in the ‘I just got out of my denial’ mode forever! The second emotion that hit me was gratitude of what was to come. I thought about the way that I love my kids just as much in this phase as I did in the baby phase, and I just know that I’ll love the next phases too.

I pondered over the excitement we get over everything new they learn and every time they explore something they never have before. The twinkle in their eyes when they see animals in the wild. The faces they pull, be it bliss or disgust over new food flavors. I realized that there is still SO MUCH ahead to hold dear! I still have years of playing santa, I still get to be the toothfairy, there is still a trip to Disneyland ahead (I’ve waited so that both of them will be old enough to remember it!). We still get to learn piano, and celebrate over sports trophies and dance competitions. Every halloween will bring a new age of fun, and every summer to come will hold a new adventure.  

So, I wiped away my tears, cleaned up my face, and retreated for a moment to my good ol’ friend google. I did a little bit of crafty craft research on fun seasonal activities for very young kids and I set to work. I decided that rather than dwelling on the passing time and depressing myself over time gone, I’d relish today.

Yes, we will always have days when we will cry and get emotional over our kids growth. It’s inevitable as a parent to miss our children for who they were yesterday. It’s also important to allow ourselves to feel that once in awhile in order to appreciate and look forward to what lays before us.  In order to really grasp onto and understand in love what we have today, we need to truly understand what we had yesterday and be grateful for what tomorrow will bring.

Embrace the seasonal changes as a parent and really fully live in the present, because our kids deserve us for who we are right now. They are not the exact same humans they were yesterday and that’s a beautiful thing. Bitter-sweet yes, but beautiful nonetheless.  

About Didi Oviatt

Didi Oviatt is an intuitive soul. She’s a wife and mother first, with one son and one daughter. Her thirst to write was developed at an early age, and she never looked back. After digging deep and getting in touch with her literary self, she’s writing mystery/thrillers like Search For Maylee, Aggravated Momentum, The Stix, and New Age Lamians(a trilogy to be). Along with a six-piece short story collection called the Time Wasters. She’s also collaborated with Kim Knight in an ongoing interactive short story anthology The Suspenseful Collection. When Didi doesn’t have her nose buried in a book, she can be found enjoying a laid back outdoorsy life. Time spent sleeping under the stars, hiking, fishing, and ATVing the back roads of beautiful mountain trails, and bathing in the desert heat plays an important part of her day-to-day lifestyle.  

Connect with Didi further on social media at Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and Goodreads. Find her books at Smashwords and Amazon.

Didi’s latest book Search For Maylee is now available for pre-order!

Amazon.com / Amazon.ca / Amazon Uk
Kobo
Goodreads

Book Description

Since Maylee was abducted from her high school the very month of graduation, her Aunt Autumn has never lost hope in finding her. It’s been three years. Autumn has finally reached inside herself and found the courage to track down an old lead. She moves across the country to find him. Will Autumn be able to pry Maylee’s case back open? More importantly, what will Autumn uncover in the process of searching for Maylee? It’s a cold dark world we live in, and she is about to find out just how cruel it can be. Strength and determination are on Autumn’s side and she will do whatever it takes.

35 thoughts on “Change of Seasons: Coping as a Mother”

  2. Didi Oviatt - Author

    Thanks for reading! Wouldn’t that be amazing if we could freeze time for a while! My daughter’s third birthday is actually tomorrow! I’m pretty sure her Barbie cake will be proudly hiding a few absorbed tears under all that pink sparkling frosting!

    Reply
  3. Mom in Bloom

    What a poignant piece! I relate so much to the part where you just want to wrap them up — I too wish I could hold my daughter (4) in all her 42lbs and cradle the cheeks of my cuddly baby boy (13 mos) forever. Thank you for sharing this beautiful perspective. 💜

    Reply
  5. thepsychomummy

    I am 30 weeks pregnant with our first baby and this gives a perspective of what my parents would’ve gone through. It makes you realise some of the small things in the kids lives are the big things in the parents lives. Thank you ❤️

    Reply
    1. Didi Oviatt - Author

      Congrats on the baby! sorry it took me so long to reply to your comment on my guest post, IDK how I missed this. You must have a beautiful child now, I hope everything went well, and you enjoy this Christmas season with your little one :)

  7. faithlovesoul

    Great post! My children are in their early twenties, just out of college! Although I miss the years when they were babies and kids, there is a beauty in this age as well. Now I can actually be “friends” with my children. Every season has its own beauty!

    Reply
    1. Didi Oviatt - Author

      So true! I try and picture my kids in their twenties, and it’s beautifully petrifying! It’s so crazy to think that it’ll be here in practically a blink, and I’ll be reflecting on this age just the same. I can only pray now that they’ll both get through college and want to call me their friend lol!! You must be an excellent mom! :)

    2. shehannemoore

      My girls are grown now and while there’s days I would give my eye for to have their wee hands in mine and all that goes with that, I now have two girls I’m so proud of. They’re friends. We have different laughs together,, times together and you know they will still turn to you when they need you, the same as when they were little.x

    4. shehannemoore

      My girls are 3 years apart. and they are very close. Not in a gooey way. Just in a nice way. But they will be close to you too, so while you can get scared and sad that one day they will let go of your hand, it is only so they can take it again in a different way, x

    4. Stevie Turner

      You get used to anything in time. My husband and I are now used to the silence! When they all come to visit with their wives and children, the noise and chaos is sometimes overwhelming.

    6. Stevie Turner

      After a year, you have got used to the silence. A plaque on a friend’s wall made me laugh. It said something like: ‘The best thing about looking after the grandchildren is watching the red tail lights disappear up the road as Mummy and Daddy take them home again!’

    7. Didi Oviatt - Author

      Haha 😂😂 that’s awesome.. my inlaws think it’s funny to get my Littles all hyped up on sugar 20 minutes before we pick them up.. Then they tell us “karma” while they’re waiving goodbye

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