There’s a strange attitude that many people seem to have drilled into them from a very early age. Specifically, it’s asking for or accepting help from the people around you is somehow a sign of weakness. But I’m going to buck that way of thinking – It’s okay to ask for help. In fact, it’s healthier to do so than to go through the tough stuff alone.
Independence and support
Yup, it’s possible to be an independent woman and still say yes to receiving support when you need it. The two things are not mutually exclusive.
The reality is that life is hard, and to get through some BS you sometimes need another person by your side, even if they’re simply going with you to a scary medical appointment or listening to you as you try to talk through heavy sobbing.
Sure, there’s something a little bit romantic about the idea of being a lone wolf who doesn’t need anyone else to get by, but actually living your life like that is difficult. Not to mention also being incredibly lonely.
A good life is one where you’re willing to reach out to other people and understand the importance of accepting help when it’s offered to you. However, because of how we’re all trained to want to be independent, it’s not always easy. To help change that mindset, here are 3 ways to make it easier to ask for help and accept a helping hand too.
It’s okay to ask for help:
1. Start by being honest about the problem
If something is wrong, then you’re never really going to get anywhere until you’re actually able to admit that fact. You must identify what is the root of the problem.
Yes, you. Only once you see it for yourself will you have the motivation or want to solve it.
One of the things that can strain many relationships, both romantic and otherwise, is the inability for people to be open and honest with each other when they’re struggling with something.
2. Know who to reach out to for a hand
It’s one thing to be able to understand a problem, and it’s something else entirely to know what is the solution. There are often plenty of different solutions, and many of them can only really work with the right support.
For instance, perhaps you are struggling with depression. If so, then meeting a therapist for the first time, as I did, can be very helpful. This professional has the skillset to guide you through what is happening mentally.
Alternatively, if it’s a physical injury then a rehab specialist can create a custom plan for you to work through the specific issue. They will consider your lifestyle and personal preferences when working with you to get you back to a stronger place.
If it’s an addiction, then perhaps you’re at the stage where something like methadone treatment is the only option left for you. Being aware that you need to start cutting certain things and people out of your life to get better can help you know who to turn to for the best support.
While your friends and family might want to help in any way they can with the situation, whatever it is, until they understand what you really need from them, there isn’t much that they can do for assistance. You also have to be ready to accept help when it’s offered to you.
3. Listen openly to loved ones
It’s important to be aware that, even if they have your best interests at heart, sometimes the things that your friends and family have to say aren’t going to be easy to hear. After all, no one likes to listen to someone say that some of their problems are their own fault and responsibility.
But if you hide your head in the sand, then things are probably only going to get worse than they are already. Make sure that you’re willing to listen to the people who care about you, even if the things that they have to say might sting.
Hearing another perspective, though, from caring friends and family, can give you a new perspective on your own situation. Sometimes it’s hard to get view when you’re so far inside the scenario that it’s a bit blurry.
It’s okay to ask for help…
But sometimes it’s sure hard to do so. Do you sometimes keep things to yourself rather than reaching out to others?
Dear Christy.
In young adults, like college students and new scholars, it seems they have high self-esteem, so they do not need help. Actually they need help, but most do not want to be helped. I’m sure you often meet young people who need help, but do not know that they need help! Many people want to help young people.
In old age, they need help from young people. But most young people are reluctant to help because there is no time. Many people do not want to help old people. If I was 100 years old, who would take me to Tracy Arm Fjord? Ha ha….
I read a lot of your posts, it feels like a student again ….. :)
Awww I’m glad you are feeling like a student, taking in the words, as I don’t believe we ought to ever stop learning :) Your words are sage reminders that being in tune between body and mind is essential to a better life. Hugs
Another great post! 💁🏼
I feel the same about your blog!!
Thank you Christy! Much appreciated!
Guilty. Prior to kids, I lived a pretty independent lifestyle. My motto was, “I got this.” Then my son was born. At age 30, I had to face the hard truth that maybe it really does take a village (and not just when it comes to raising kids). It took me a while to change my ways and learn to lean on others. When I did, I realized I had been missing out on so much community – including knowing the privilege of giving back! I completely agree with you; we need to understand ourselves and our needs before we can reach out for help. None of us can do life alone. Wonderful post.
Thank you for sharing your experiences here with us, Julia. I love that you’ve learned the value of a community spirit and I send healthy vibes to you and your family :)
I’m pretty much the independent type but now that I no longer drive I am learning the art of asking for help. When I’m trying to schedule a ride with Uber, which I have not mastered yet, I do not hesitate to ask for help. It is amazing how this makes me feel connected to a younger generation that delights in sharing their tech skills.
Reaching out to those around us can make us stronger, right?!! I loved reading about your connecting with another generation <3 Thanks for being here, my friend
I am a firm believer that when one is going through stuff that there is no shame in asking for help whether it be emotional, spiritual or financial. Life is too short to be mired in the muck of life.
Cutting people out of your life is a tough choice – yet sometimes the wisest choice. My daughter will not keep company with people who are negative – in her personal life and at work. Great post, Christy!
Great advice! This is so true that asking for help is not a weakness rather it is an act of bravery. I have shared this post on StumbleUpon. Have a great weekend.
Appreciate the share and support! Happy weekend to you too :)
This is what my next post is about, my dear of sharing about my addiction
I look forward to the read
All this happens with everyone at some point of life or the other. Really a great advice. Keep it up
Hi Richa, nice to see you here :) It’s true that leaning on others can be helpful in our times of need xx
You are so right! Especially the part about listening…something I need to do more of…lol
Awww <3 I'm glad we're enjoying one another's blogs!
Some very good words of wisdom here, Christy.
Nice to hear it is appreciated, Robbie
Lovely words. :) Such peace and wisdom contained in them. I hope you’re well, sweet Christy. Sending you hugs and thank you for this reminder: I’m not always one to ask for help when I need it. This is a gentle reminder that it’s okay to do so. <3
Awww hi Cyndi. I reach out to you now with a hug ♥ I have to go through the mail tomorrow but I see a big package there that I think is from you! I’ll reach out once I’ve gone through it xx Hugs!
Wonderful advice my darling xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx to you
Oh Shey, you’re beautiful xx
No no. You are that xxxxxxxxxxxxxx
This particularly caught me off guard… I’m one of those that don’t ask for help, it’s hard, but at times it’s better. It must be due to the type of people I’m surrounded with.
For many people, we grow up thinking asking for help signifies weakness.. but I’ve learned that when we reach out to others we can get even stronger. Thanks for taking time to read this one xx
Makes a lot of sense! Always a pleasure! I love learning something new, your blog is full of wisdom😊❤
Hello, Christy.
I have a very personal take on this (as anyone else does, anyway) and I’m going to say just one thing. Loneliness is bad. Ask for help, fearlessly. Life will give you the chance to help back others in the future, that’s how it works.
Big hugs.
I like what you say about your time will come to help others… wonderful reminders, Alessandro ((hugs))
Absolutely agree with what you say! 💜💜 I wish more people let them selfs believe it’s ok to get help!
True. Asking for help is not a sign of weakness! Have a nice weekend :)
Thanks, you too!!!
You always manage to come up with such beautiful posts. I feel so much connected to this post.
I am not sure but i think i am too an addict and i should really seek out for help.
Thank you once again Christy
How nice that we both visited one another’s blogs yesterday! Regarding your thoughts about possibly being addicted, speak with someone close to you and they may advise you as to what the issue is, if there is one.. A loving friend or family member is a wonderful resource xx
I totally agree with you. Thanks once again dear
These are such wise words! I’m blessed to have come across your blog 💙💙
I feel the same about your blog ♥
Aww thank you so much! That genuinely means the world to me 😁😁💗💗💗
Great advice Christy… I think we have all been there at one point and time in our lives. Hearing sometimes can hurt but when others do it out of love advice comes easier. Never be afraid to reach out and ask for help. Once received you are most likely the person who will give freely to another…
Hugs
Exactly. Asking for help can do wonders for our spirit! Hugs xx
Excellent advice, dear Christy.
Blessings ~ Wendy <3
Blessings ♥
These are all so true and practical Christy…
Listen to people who care about us…even if what they have to say may hurt us…
I know it’s hard to listen when the words are digging into an open wound but if it’s done in a loving, helpful way then I do hope we stay open-minded. Appreciate your comment, Mich.